Anyhow, here’s to 2011….roll on 2012. Happy New Year to all our readers! x

And So I Watch You From Afar – Gangs

It’s hard to imagine this album not existing. ‘Gangs’ feels like a crushing, encompassing hug that refuses to let go. It’s the sound of achievement – it’s the sound of joy – it’s the sound of being a champion. “Blissful destruction to a euphoric high of cascading riffs…” ‘Gangs’ never tires – it’s a surging rush of adrenalin, fuelled by raw power and will leave the listener with that sense of being indestructible.

Touché Amoré– Parting The Sea Between Brightness And Me

“I’M NOT A PROVIDER BUT A CENTRE DIVIDER!” Clocking in at under 22 minutes, ‘Parting The Sea Between Brightness And Me’ is some of, if not the strongest, emotive hardcore punk around at the moment. It’s the piano led ‘Condolences’ that really stands out however. Jeremy Bolm’s vocals are laced with bitter, echoing sadness on an album that stretches the hardcore template to its limit with its fractured, caustic, emotive message.

Zombi – Escape Velocity

Zombi make this progressive future music that sounds so alien to everything else about at the moment. At least, to these ears they do. It’s a rich, luscious soundscape of rising synths that simply wash over you. In some respects, it reminds me a lot of the Unreal Tournament soundtrack – that same progressive rush of clattering instrumental keys versus drums that are constantly at war.

Today Is The Day – Pain Is A Warning

I was surprised with how much I enjoyed this album. Some parts remind me of Therapy? jf they spent all their time listening to Slayer and had a sense of humour bypass. It’s dark, evil-sounding metal that twists and sneers and just sounds so deliciously malevolent and snarling. ‘Wheelin’ is Fu Manchu snorting acid, whilst ‘The Devil’s Blood’ is a weird mix of guitar-wailing fret-destruction and a dark stomping groove of fear. The only metal album you need this year.

Weekend Nachos – Worthless

The first song on this album features the words “GET FUCKED!” yelled as both an order and a burning spit of vile hatred.  Still not entirely sure what to class ‘Worthless’ as – totally radical seems apt. Or gnarly, hardcore punk fed through a filter of sludge. Or Harvey Milk trying to cover Some Girls songs. In any case, it’s a raging, seething, scene-bashing assault.

Other notable releases:

The Wonder Years – Suburbia: I’ve Given You All And Now I’m Nothing (fist-pumpingly excellent pop-punk that will leave a stupid grin on your face.)
The Heat Tape – Raccoon Valley Recordings (scrappy, early-Thermals garage rock devoid of production, packed with tunes and a snotty, abrasive attitude.)

Wolves Like Us – Late Love (Norwegian hard rock that sounds like it’s turning into Mastodon jamming with Black Flag.)

Limp Bizkit – Gold Cobra (surprisingly brilliant return to form. Durst and Co have produced an album that harks back to the good old days and their frat-boy nu-metal party shenanigans still haven’t worn.)

Red Fang – Murder The Mountains (sludgy, heavy metal attack by a band who have taken elements that make Mastodon so vital and covered them in layers of dirt and decay.)

Of Legends – Stranded (The guy from The Secret Handshake making sick ‘n twisted chaotic metalcore that’s completely detuned but vile and cutting in every aspect.)

Fucked Up – David Comes To Life (a punk rock opera clocking in at nearly 80 minutes. It’s an epic and rewarding slice of the future of three chords and the truth.)

Hawks and Doves – Year One (Planes Mistaken For Stars frontman does alcohol-soaked depression with a voice that you can smell scotch on from your speakers. Imagine an unhappy version of Hot Water Music.)

Black Spiders – Sons of the North (released at the beginning of the year, ‘Sons of the North’ is G.U. Medicine-style rock ‘n roll with some Fu Manchu thrown in for good measure. Tight, raucous and packed full of beard power.)

Heartless –Hell Is Other People (spiteful, black-metal hardcore, not for the faint hearted.)

Junius – Reports From The Threshold of Death (Neurosis style heavy noise and shoegaze washes over some of the most sombre and sorrowful vocals I’ve heard.)

This Is Hell – Black Mass (blazing thrash-punk rock that barely gives you time to breathe/think/concentrate.)

Trapped Under The Ice – The Big Kiss Goodnight (jock-hardcore beatdowns that actually have substance)

Brutal Truth – End Time (unrelenting assault from the grindcore legends that refuse to simply shut the fuck up.)

The Rodeo Idiot Engine – Fools Will Crush The Crown (what I imagine hell sounds like. Definition of musical chaos is The Rodeo Idiot Engine. Makes Dillinger Escape Plan look like a pop band.)

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By Ross Macdonald

Fucked Up – Queen Of Hearts (‘David Comes To Life’)

I don’t get why people dislike the vocals on Fucked Up. All the best punk bands have a dude that sounds like a bear for a singer: The Bronx (shaved), Paddy from Dillinger Four and obviously Father Damian who is actually a bear (unshaved). Someone said that the video to ‘Queen Of Hearts’ makes them weep and they would be right. However, despite mentioning the vocals, they aren’t even the best bit of the song – no, the best part is the last minute and a half, which is an absolute barrage of fist-in-the-air, hugging-the-person-next-to-you, explosion of ecstatic punk rock guaranteed to make you emote.

Touché Amoré – Home And Away From Here ( ‘Parting The Sea Between Brightness And Me‘)

Touché Amoré are one of the reasons why I still haven’t lost faith in hardcore. Like a savage beating, their second album and in particular, this song – will leave you breathless and wheezing (although, you’ll probably still have all your teeth, phone, wallet etc.) Vocalist Jeremy Bolm has this wonderfully strained and scratched voice of a dude consumed with angst and the tightness of the rest of the band make their taunt, aggressively-melodic music something I’ve basically been sticking on repeat since I first heard it.

Three Trapped Tigers – Reset (‘Route One, Or Die‘)

I just wish Matt Berry was talking over this. Or just some samples of him saying “kit kat” or “JEN!” or “WOW A GUN!” or “The Ordinary Boys?” – I think having him at the start of their mind-screw-head-shafting-future-music-odyssey has affected me a little. ‘Lush’ is just one word I’d use to describe it. ‘Deliriously ecstatic’ is another. I imagine this is what’s played in the Soylent Green factories just as your exit, before Charlton Heston ruins everything as usual.

Limp Bizkit – Shotgun (‘Gold Cobra’)

POP OFF THE ROCK SHIP
POP, POP, POP OFF THE ROCK SHIP

Wes’s guitar solo = more golden than the snake on the album cover, fo’ sure.

And So I Watch You From Afar – Gang (Starting Never Stopping) (‘Gangs‘)

If the bending, sonic noise of this track doesn’t get to you, then there’s a chance you’re possibly dead. ‘Gang (Starting Never Stopping)’ is the second track from ‘Gangs’, their second full-length. A choppy, tribal mash-up of aggressive sound, with elements of punk seeping through the unhinged, cracking chaos – it makes me want to punch out the sun.

The Wonder Years – Came Out Swinging (‘Suburbia: I’ve Given You All And Now I’m Nothing’)

This was going to be ‘Woke Up Older’, but after some truly amazing news, ‘Came Out Swinging’ pips it, mostly for lyrical content – because you know, it’s about moving on, becoming a better person, and I wrote something about getting better about a month ago, and if I’m being honest…I’m getting there. (Thanks, The Wonder Years).

Down I Go – Poseidon (‘Gods‘)

Kings of concept-core, Down I Go make metal music that is pretty specialist. ‘Poseidon’ is a bending caterwaul of god-worshipping terror. There’s far too much going on here; from ridiculous back-and-forth gang vocals, electronic crackles, howling guitars and even a bloody saxophone. Being unhinged never sounded so good.

Zombi – DE3 (‘Escape Velocity‘)

Not actually sure why I like this. In my review for planet-loud I proclaimed it the best song I’d heard all year – this was back in May. I’m actually listening to it again now, all 9 minutes and 2 seconds of this bastard. As a whole, ‘Escape Velocity’ works best, but ‘DE3’ is still a superb mind-warp of space-rock genius.

Black Spiders – What Good’s A Rock Without A Roll? (‘Sons Of The North’)

Five proper lads, with proper haircuts, playing proper tunes. Actually, they all look like various ex-Motley Crue roadies who haven’t had a wash in 15 years. This is the best song from the under-rated and over-looked, ‘Sons Of The North’ – if you’re after music that sounds like it’s still hungover from a whisky drinking competition, whilst listening to Fu Manchu, then this is for you. Eat thunder, shit lightning indeed.

Hawks And Doves – Hexing (‘Year One‘)

Miserable sounding, gutter-punk done by a man consumed by loss despair. Gared O’Donnell does his best to be as morose as possible on this stabbing, part-Therapy? Part-Hot Water Music diatribe. There’s something about a voice that’s been completely weathered away that really makes music seem incredibly unsettling. In fact, the whole of ‘Year One’ by Hawks And Doves is worth your attention.

Weekend Nachos – Jock Powerviolence (‘Worthless’)

I STOPPED TRYING TO BE COOL A LONG TIME AGO

Today Is The Day – Wheelin’ (‘Pain Is Warning’)

Scathing, caustic rock ‘n roll fed through a bastard filter. Frontman Steve Austin (not that one) sounds like a complete manic, barking his screechy voice over dense, razor-sharp metal for about 2 and a half minutes. It’s really, ridiculously loud for some reason, not Coachwhips loud, but getting there.

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Other notable highlights:

The Heat Tape – ‘Quotes From An Unopened Letter’, Set Your Goals - ‘The Last American Virgin’, Despise You – ‘Fear’s Song’, Absolute Power – ‘Secrets’, Four Year Strong – ‘Stuck In The Middle’, Goes Cube – ‘The Ban Has Been Lifted’, Wolves Like Us – ‘Shiver In The Heat’, Obits – ‘Naked To The World’, We Are The Ocean – ‘Overtime Is A Crime’, La Dispute – ‘The Most Beautiful Bitter Fruit’, Of Legends - ‘Save The Humans’, Red Fang – ‘Hank Is Dead’.

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Links

Click HERE for a Spotify playlist featuring all the above songs, AND MORE

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By Ross Macdonald

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“I will chase you through the sea forever and ever.”

So the band known as Down I Go will soon be no more. What with various members emigrating to pastures new and shouting about wikipedia entries slowly getting a bit long in the tooth, they’ve decided to bow out gracefully. Or should that be ‘bow out as a thrashing, malevolent roar of deity-destroying rage? ‘Gods’ is their last release, following on from previous conceptual outings dinosaurs, disasters, robots and tyrants.

Despite only being 4 tracks and 15 minutes long, there is a lot going on during ‘Gods.’ Down I Go don’t scrimp on the experimentation, nor do they on volume or indeed on the interminable mood-swings. The way certain moments sway from lurching, post-hardcore to absurd brass segments, not to mention the changes of tone that at times seem fairly sudden, but beneath it all, you can hear the subtle shifts slowing creeping in beneath the sound of  their metallic dissonance.

The first track on ‘Gods’ deals with the goddess of the harvest, sanctity of marriage, the scared law and life and death. ‘Demeter’, is a ruthless and quite a scathing opening track, structured somewhat around the myth surrounding her involvement with Poseidon and his pursuit of her. There’s some lyrical trade-off between vocalist Pete and drummer Ben, with the former channelling an irrepressible tyranical bark, whilst the latter almost reaches a falsetto, with his ostentatious cry of “transforming yourself into a horse won’t protect you from my lusty sword!” (easily one of the best lines I’ve heard this year). ‘Demeter’ is a fairly ungainly song – it staggers and sways under this grungy, bass-driven scrape, complete with constantly squealing guitars. The rising wail around the minute and a half mark, morphs into yet more schizophrenic back-and-forth as well as the cry for the return of Demeter’s daughter Persephone from the clutches of Hades. The tone again shifts at the 2:20 mark and stays consistently solemn until the tracks conclusion. Gone, is the rage, the snapping, the System Of A Down-style word play. Instead, a melancholy, desolate piano takes the lead, whilst the vocals mournfully recite the same 4 lines: “trapped…living with Hades, stuck…in the underworld, curse…the pomegranate, it’s….winter forever.” For the somewhat tongue-in-cheek, hydra-head of music that is Down I Go, it’s some of their most different and challenging work.

I fail to see how any of my words can do the next track ‘Poseidon’ any justice, because the video is so superbly bat-shit insane. From the disjointed opening riff, to the sea-shanty bounce of its coda, it’s one of, if not the best thing they’ve committed to tape. The guitars sound completely filthy, with a proper de-tuned growl that’s been present in the Down I Go sound since they began. The screwed-up electronic crackles and yet more piano halfway through as the track plays the old ‘quiet, quiet, quiet-LOUD’ card perfectly. Shifting from the sorrowful wails of doomed sailors, it kicks back in with such tortured metallic fury and cackling destruction. There is also some wonderful gang-vocals near the end, coupled with blasts from a saxophone, that irrepressible metallic stomp and if the band ever decided to play live, a chant (“FREEZING! AND DROWNING! SPARE US, POSEIDON!”) that would even rival Turkmenbashi.

After hearing ‘King Herod the Great’ and ‘Dionysus’ both from Down I Go’s ‘Witness the Shitness’ b-sides EP, you can tell where some of the ideas for the more interesting vocals on ‘Atlas’ stemmed from. The hilariously barmy falsetto vocals give a slight ‘Mike Patton on helium’ edge and embrace a sound last heard on Dillinger Escape Plan’s ‘Irony is a Dead Scene’ EP. Credit to the poppy keyboard flourish around the 1.15 mark – absolute genius – never have keys and jagged hardcore sounded more in harmony. Whilst the song is about a struggle, namely Atlas carrying the weight of the world and ‘dispersing the weight of the planet’ there is also a lot of hope, that suddenly cuts out almost too soon on an elongated keyboard wail as if the world finally became too much of a burden for those shoulders.

Final track ‘Icarus’ relates the tale of the ill-fated engineer who flew too close to the sun (some say it was because he flew too close to the sea, soaking the wings resulting in his death) and fell to his death when the wax melted. Possibly the most acerbic track on ‘Gods’; ‘Icarus’ is nothing short of a snapping, snarling ball of disjointed bile and jittering unpleasantness. The second half of the track features the lines “WAX IS MELTING! FEATHING FALLING! DOWN YOU GO! DOWN YOU GO INTO THE SEA!” which is spat with such venom over some gnarly, sludge-metal that staggers and contorts like a wounded Minotaur before ending in a scrawling caterwaul of feedback and bizarre guitar squeals.

To conclude, ‘Gods’ is Down I Go going out on a high; their most accomplished work – a deity toping blast of unique and twisted metallic noise. Simply: unsinkable.

If you’re still not convinced that this is one of the most essential metal EPs this year, then head over to shelsmusic and order a copy right now. Alternatively, you can buy the download from shelsmusic bandcamp here.

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Links

Down I Go
Down I Facebook
Shelsmusic
Shels bandcamp

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By Ross Macdonald

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Four Year Strong – Stuck In The Middle

Pop-punk has been consistently excellent this year – Four Year Strong continues that trend superbly. ‘Stuck In The Middle’ mixes the right amount of part-melodic, antagonistic aggression with some sublime pop-hooks, whilst dual vocalists, Dan O’Connor and Alan Day do an impressive job of finishing each others sentences on a track that has one of the most infectious choruses I’ve heard all year – if all the songs on their new record even touch the greatness of this – holy shit!

La Dispute – The Most Beautiful Bitter Fruit

Never heard of these guys before, but suddenly I want to hear everything they’ve released. Talk about tense – La Dispute is unlike any hardcore band I’ve heard. Their sound is incredibly concentrated and sharp; the guitars and bass taunt and edgy- the drums crisp and loud – what sound like handclaps gives it an oddly sinister edge, whilst vocalist Jordan Dreyer has a range, not dissimilar to Jeremy Bolm of Touché Amoré. Whatever they’re doing, it’s the sort of uneasy and astringent hardcore that I can appreciate.

Five Finger Death Punch – Under And Over It

I admire the stones Five Finger Death Punch have in their continuation to pedal their sub-standard, frat boy nu-metal poseur-core to the masses. The backing vocals JUST about save this from being complete garbage. If they ditched the shitty harsh vocals this would still sound….well….terrible, but at least it wouldn’t have such cringeworthy lyrics that even Durst would turn his nose up at.

Machine Head – Locust

Never been that taken with Machine Head. This isn’t bad though. Guttural, vicious sounding guitars that plum the depths of sludgy, metallic noise as well as retaining that standard heavy metal chugga-chug beat-down. For the most part though, it’s proper bruiser-core breakdowns, fret-wankery and something that resembles a band that have survived where many of their contemporaries have fallen.

Uneven Structure – Awaken (Edit)

Opening 10 seconds are post-rock, and then it all goes to hell. A scathing, relentless pound of agitated metal that combines elements of some of the most bleakest and raging hardcore you’ve ever heard. In some places, it’s pretty damn tech – a methodical progressive build of tech, rather than DEP-spazzcore knee-jerks of chaos. This anchors rage and aggression into a churning maelstrom of rage and pensive brooding.

Trapped Under Ice – Outcast

From first impressions it’s far too easy to dismiss this as Bridge 9-dumbcore. It’s more like Snapcase with muscles though. The vocals are a snarling sneer, with that almost-unintelligible bark, backed by strong gang bro-core backing vocals, overwrought guitar lines some crunching drum beats and the odd solo for good measure. Plus, one of them looks like Alan Tudyk’s younger brother.

Lifeless – Crap Tax

This is 65 seconds long. It sounds like Cerebral Ballzy with worse production, a singer that isn’t singing out of his nose, but instead snaps like an irritated parrot, whilst the rest of the band try and play a mix of an Anthrax b-side with Rudimentary Peni and it fucking rocks the bastard house, especially the mangled-guitars which sound completely detuned to buggery.

Crazy Arm – Bandalito

Barely restrained, Crazy Arm absolutely bulldozes their way through this 3 minute bounce of melodic punk. It gives a strong nod towards Millencolin; with certain riffs sounding like lost songs from the Swedish quartets ‘Home From Home’ album. Like Against Me! going hell for leather after far too much sugar and red bull; they absolutely storm it with this passionate ramshackle of fist-punching rock ‘n roll.

Verses – Wait Forever

With a familiar nasally, but hopeful sounding whine on their singer, (hello Dallas Green impersonator!) Verses seem to be bridging a gap between pop-punk and early-emocore (back when Funeral For A Friend sounded good) but without the screaming. It’s decent, but a tad run-of-the-mill in places. It lacks punch and that snapping bite that should really be present in music of this calibre.

A Loss For Words – The Hammers Fall

Ah man, A Loss For Words sound like total fun. Smacking so much of The Wonder Years, their spitting, cheeky fresh-faced pop-punk barrage is chock with goodtime melodies, huge choruses and an early Weezer-sound (think Blue-era, mixed with the fun of Green) drenched in sweat and beer hair. Get on this.

Silent Screams – When It Rains

Sounding a bit like Emmure crossed with some experimental heavy metal, Silent Screams are pretty gnarly. The dual-vocals, (both harsh and melodic) actually compliment each other fairly well, despite being so utterly generic it hurts. With some incredibly low tuning, and possible crab-core actions should they ever produce a music video, it still sounds a lot better than most metalcore that’s around at the moment.

Reverse The Curse – Suplex Condenser Dispenser

You can hear the pain in Ed Starcher, vocalist for Reverse The Curse. It feels real, a lot more real than someone wearing eyeliner. His voice almost breaks, when the opening salvo of his fragile, scraping scream hits you. The bass-driven, taunt punk is fairly sinister in execution, stopping and starting, whilst radiating a gruff Hot Water Music spit of fractured energy.

Ocasan – Not All Heroes Wear Capes

Slightly too sickly for my tastes – Ocasan are pop-punk to the core (and they can deny it as much as they want). Imagine Something Corporate with fewer balls. Okay, that’s being unfair – the kids are going to love this, seriously – it’s got that ace hook and a confident vocalist who knows how to belt it out, but it feels a bit kids club New Found Glory for Juniors.

Collapse Under The Empire – Giants

Sounding like it should be sound-tracking a film like Inception, Collapse Under The Empire ramp up post-rock to new and dizzying heights. We’re talking layers of build here; interspersed with sombre piano breaks, glitching electronics morose, heavy-hitting percussion and the sense that the world is truly about to end. Final battle sequences, a spaceship being destroyed, slow-motion shots of planets crashing together all apply here – absolutely phenomenal soundscapes.

Junius – Betray The Grave

The combination of quite dark and menacing hard rock with the oddly melodic (but no-less imposing) vocals is a strange one. Junius make that kind of unsettling and over-dramatic sounds, that focus on layers upon layers of bold Neurosis-style guitar wails and this relentless pounding heaviness that doesn’t give up or allow any quarter.

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Links

As above;  I don’t care.

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By Ross Macdonald

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New Found Glory – Radiosurgery

How come Jordan Pundik of NFG still sounds so happy? Surely at over 30 he should be a misanthropic bastard, but no – he’s still singing like the world is made of kittens and rainbows. ‘Radiosurgery’ is just under 3 minutes of sugary, pop-punk bounce that wouldn’t sound out of place on their debut self-titled or ‘Sticks and Stones.’ There’s some nice scuzzy bass thrown in, choppy guitars and a great soaring chorus of “aaaaahhhsss” and if I’m not mistaken, a Less Than Jake style bounce to their anthemic sound.

Polar Bear Club – Screams In Caves

Polar Bear Club have been around for 6 years, but I’ve never heard of them, or possibly got them mixed up with some wet indie-side project with a similar name. This is anything but that – gruff vocals that instantly hook you, backed by a weird mix of heavy-Jimmy Eat World melodic emo and passionate post-hardcore rock. It’s honest and incredibly crisp-sounding in delivery and a credit to the genre.

Mastodon – Black Tongue

Apparently the new Mastodon album is called ‘The Hunter’ – quite apt really, considering ‘Black Tongue’ seems to be about the thrill of the chase. Although, they claim it’s not a concept album, this track gives obvious nods to the title. The roar of “you can run to the sea, you can run to the forest, you can hide but you’ll never escape!” Is a chilling warning from the lurching tusked-mammal that is the Atlanta four-piece. ‘Black Tongue’ gallops and rolls with deadly precision and a wailing drone of bludgeoning stoned-out metallic chaos and is easily one of the best tracks I’ve heard from these dudes.

Thrice – Yellow Belly

Thrice went weird ages ago didn’t they? I think their new stuff suits vocalist Dustin Kensrue much more – always felt he was straining a bit on the old chords sometimes when they were all screamy. Really like this; the heavier moments sound massive – the guitars soar and wail like And So I Watch You From Afar and it all goes a bit post-hardcore, with elements of raw-rhythmic noise provided by the over-prominent bass, which gives a slight grunge feel.

Staind – Eyes Wide Open

Hands up if you know anyone who still listens to/likes/acknowledges the existence of Staind in a non-ironic way? Aaron Lewis – why so angry bro? A confused mess of what 2001 sounded like, mixed with an incongruous guitar solo, Lewis shouting and mewling like a petulant child. No brainer-moshcore, nu-metal toilet trash.

We Are The In Crowd – Rumor Mill

You might have to visit the dentist after listening to this lot. Tooth-rottingly sweet; We Are The In Crowd will not only leave you with less teeth than Shane MacGowan but they’ll also lodge the sickly twee-pop punk exuberance of a billion e-numbers in the form of their music stuck in your mind. Despite it being steadfastly American, they don’t half sound j-pop in execution. The kids are going to love this; hooks bigger than New Found Glory (sorry guys) and a singer who yeah, sounds like the chick from Paramore but trades off well with some strong backing vocals meaning there’s some good call and response.

This Time Next Year – Matchbook

Why would you dress up in gasoline? This Time Next Year goes through the pop-punk rule book and pretty much have it nailed down tight. Kind of has that vibe of The Wonder Years, without the intense lyrics, but rattles along nicely with the leaping brackish attitude of The Ataris (before they went weird) and some strong soaring “wooaahhooohs” that give a nod towards NFG. Not very original, as their sound is 10 a penny, but on the strength of ‘Matchbook’, they’re certainly among the elite rather than the shit-munchers.

Transit – Listen & Forgive

I reckon a few more beers down the road and I’d be a broken man listening to this. I’m getting soft I reckon and it’s all Transit’s fault. This kind of reminds me of Brand New, circa-‘Your Favourite Weapon’-era, more along the lines of ‘Soco Amaretto Lime.’  – Must be the backing vocals and that acoustic guitar they cleverly buried in there. I can’t make up mind if it’s really sappy or mature – somewhere between the two, but whatever it is, it’s bloody brilliant.

Dangerous! – Not One Of You

Sounding like they don’t give two fucks, Dangerous! Remind me a bit of The Vines trying to cover early Icarus Line material. Vocalist Tommy pretty much shrieks himself hoarse through a mangled voice box, whilst musically it touches on good time rock and or roll, with elements of sleazy garage punk and rolling around in broken glass. A fist-pumping destructive noise, that maybe slightly too clean when that rough-as-sandpaper voice doesn’t crunch through the mix.

Exit Ten – Curtain Call

Utilising big sweeping cascades of heavy de-tuned guitar, clattering percussion, Exit Ten know how to drop it in choruses. Vocalist Ryan Redman has an imposing and powerful voice that is perfectly matched with the sprawling metallic crash of Exit Ten’s sweeping crush of alternative metal.

Jumping Ships – Broken English

Having given this several listens, I’m just not feeling it at all. It’s not terrible, just feels incredibly strained and try-hard. The vocals are a nasally, irritating whine – and even on the slow bit, there’s a moment of over-the-top flamboyance and posturing that is sadly not cocky enough to be amusing or enjoyable and just sounds embarrassing.

Decade – The Doctor Called (Turns Out I’m Sick As Fuck)

God, every band thinks they’re Set Your Goals nowadays. Only joking guys, but you’ve got a copy of ‘Tomorrow Will Be The Death Of Us’ yeah? CHECKLIST: mosh-core instrumentals? Tick. Gang vocals? Tick. Earnest, youthful vocalist full of hope and passion, mixed with gusto who isn’t afraid to shout? Tick. Seriously though, Decade are basically nailing a formula that has been done before, but they’re the ones to follow, not the followers and on  the strength of ‘The Doctor Called….’ They deserve credit.

Red Enemy – What We Call Home

I AM SHOUTING PAY ATTENTION. Red Enemy do the down-tuned metallic scrape of furrowing metalcore dirge and bury the bastard under shuddering, stop-start guitars the squeal and twitch like a pig being tortured. There’s elements of Emmure present, but not as bottoming-out in execution.

Bleed From Within – The Novelist

Proper chugga-chugga metal right there. Vocally it doesn’t stray much from the path of rasping brutality, occasionally swinging into a weird impression of your man from Black Dahlia Murder – i.e. hilarious high-pitched screech to compensate the rough and ready bash-brother tactic of the music, which feels like it’s pushed you over then stamped on you for good measure.

Octane Ok – Pretty Lady

‘New kings of pop-rock!’ I bet Octane Ok are every band before them are sick of that tag. Fairly standard really; polished until it could blind you, Octane Ok has that crisp, slick sound, with some added breakdowns that are unfortunately fairly tame in comparison to what they could sound like. It’s safe, radio-friendly and will probably sell by the truckload.

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Links

See above, it’s time for some sleeps.

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By Ross Macdonald

Band – Tanner
Album – Ill Gotten Gains
Release date – 1995
Price – 98p
Thoughts – Tanner are a lost gem. Part of the Swami collective in a way. Fronted by Gar Wood (happiest left-handed guitarist ever) along with 2 other dudes, Tanner were active for a bit of time around the San Diego scene before disbanding after two albums. ‘Ill Gotten Gains’ is their first and the only one I could justify getting for a decent-ish price. I really, really like this. Tanner’s sound has a slight grunge quality to it, mixed with I suppose that Swami-cool-as-fuck attitude. Wood is a fan of making his axe howl and I can hear a lot of Hot Snakes and especially The Night Marchers in this (both Wood’s former and current bands respectively).
Vocally, it’s fairly scrappy – Wood’s voice doesn’t have the coarse grating scratch of Froberg or the snarl of Reis; instead he channels this slightly high-pitched yelp in some places, whereas the rest of the time it see-saws from a low-fi drawl to a snappy bark. His voice suits the music; it’s quite tense, post-punk that rattles and rolls with gritty confidence under some odd time changes. The bass is also fairly prominent, leading a lot of the songs with this sinister grinding hum.

Standout tracks? ‘Computers That Breathe’ is a compact mix of taunt punk rock energy and angry-Therapy? style hard rock. ‘Purma Pak’ is a short-sharp shock of three chords and the truth, whilst ‘Siener’ mixes scrappy punk charm with brass, in a similar style to Rocket From The Crypt.

‘Spastic Art’ sees Tanner aping Fugazi almost perfectly. The guitar has just the right tone – that sense of total and utter rejection and low-end misery. It will then sound like its being completely mangled against the side of the drum kit, whilst Wood’s Ian MacKaye impression is spot on.

Verdict – Underrated; Tanner fit the mould of being the sort of band who should have been huge in the underground, but were perhaps overlooked; considering their alumni features Gar Wood and Chris Prescott (Pinback, No Knife, shitloads of other bands) it’s strange, but there you go. I can also see were Fickle Public got their sound – The Scottish four piece must have some Tanner records on them, because vocalist Alan Ferguson does a damn good Gar Wood impression at times. Perhaps more of an influence than we thought. If you can get hold of ‘Ill Gotten Gains’ and are a fan of Fugazi, Hot Snakes, the aforementioned Fickle Public then this could be an interesting addition to your collection. Drummer Chris Prescott has actually made a load of Tanner mp3s available for free download as well! Top bloke.

Band – Cougars
Album – Nice, Nice
Release date – 2003
Price – £1.75
Thoughts – From listening to Cougars, I’ve come to conclusion that they don’t play music – they destroy it. Back when they were an 8 piece (the band has now sadly stripped their keyboardist, trumpet and sax player from their line up) the pre-requisite for a Cougars song was “turn everything up the 11, and then make it louder, you fucks.” On ‘Nice, Nice’ this is met with gusto and then some. One thing I noticed, is how much the guitars shriek – they seem to be tuned to that ‘permanently putting your teeth on edge’ soundwave.

When listening to Cougars, you will wonder what the hell that thing singing is. Note, I think it is actually human. Vocalist Matthew Irie has one of the strangest voices ever. He sounds like his life has been spent gargling broken glass washed down with the strongest whisky imaginable. It’s a sharp, guttural grate and he is content to howl his lungs out like he’s vomiting up sandpaper. Irie makes as much noise as any other instrument – he’s not subdued – his feedback-soaked voice box punches through the dense instrumental wall of the Cougars sound like a Superman haymaker. What ‘Nice, Nice’ has that I love is the impenetrable layers and layers of different noises that keep it moving. The keys on ‘Mustard is Pissed’ are a squelching tidal wave of doom, whilst heavy trash-rock nature of ‘Slow Pants Changer’ is a San Diego-style yowl of pumped up adrenaline. ‘Flatbrush’ is this intense barrage of noise that features a pleasing, almost jazz mid section, before the chaos manifests itself once more in all its shrieking glory. The keys vibrate and hum in the background, like the motion tracker on a submarine destroyer, whilst Irie completely loses his shit. ‘A Friend To Dogs’ sounds like And So I Watch You From Afar jamming with a couple of dudes from Rocket From The Crypt whilst drunk.
Relentlessly badass; Cougars take no prisoners with their crowded cluster of explosive rock ‘n roll debauchery.

Verdict – ‘Nice, Nice’ is Cougars bludgeoning, stamping and snapping the bones of rock music, leaving it in tatters.

Band – Snot
Album – Get Some
Release date – 1997
Price – £1.95
Thoughts – I only investigated Snot after reading about their former guitarist Mike Smith being in Limp Bizkit for a bit during Wes Borland’s quitting days. I then read about Snot’s history and it completely bummed me out. In 1998, Lynn Strait their singer was killed in a car accident as was his dog, Dobbs who graces the very cover of ‘Get Some.’ Before Strait’s death, Snot had recorded 10 or so tracks for their second album and asked a number of guest musicians from the nu-metal and hard rock alumni to sing on it and dedicated it to the memory of their deceased vocalist. The album was called ‘Strait Up.’

Ok, wiping away tears – you didn’t come here for a wikipedia article, let’s focus.

‘Get Some’ starts with someone asking (possibly) Strait about the record and how he feels. He responds with “FUCK THE RECORD AND FUCK THE PEOPLE!” You know how this is going to go. Slotting straight into the nu-metal template, ‘Get Some’ is all massive bass-heavy overdrives, tinny drum pounding, shit loads of cymbal crashes and hip-hop guitar segments. Strait meanwhile, howls, hollers and generally goes completely apeshit and seems to be having the time of his (short) life. If he’s not spitting rapid-fire soundbites like the Beastie Boys crossed with Rollins, he puts on a ridiculous Chris Cornell style grunge-voice and at times sounds like the cast of Deliverance singing Limp Bizkit songs. This isn’t disrespecting the dead – Strait’s vocals are what drives ‘Get Some.’ As stated previously, it sounds like out of everyone, he was having the most fun during the recording sessions – obviously given free reign to try different styles and totally nailing it on every track. Standout tracks? ‘Joyride’; due to Strait’s cowboy drawl, the tight metallic-punk drive and my thoughts about whether it’s a bit ‘dude not funny’ due to the sample at the end. ‘Deadfall’ is a tribute to the film of the same name and is too fucking funny for words. Basically made up of Nicolas Cage’s ridiculous ramblings where he played an insane mental patient disguised as an insane wig-wearing, fake-tanned, drug taking version of Nicolas Cage. This is all set to some tight hardcore punk thrash, with Strait spitting the words with increasingly agitated speed and determination. He even throws in several Nic Cage impressions for good measure. ‘Mr Brett’ is a snapping, punk rock wrecking train of ‘fuck you!’ directed at Bad Religion main man, Brett Gurewitz about how he’s not really punk but corporate punk. Hey, a guy’s gotta eat!

Verdict – Stonking great. Sure, it’s juvenile and a bit stupid, but ‘Get Some’ by Snot is the sound of a band having far too much fun. Strongly recommended if you like stupid, crass punk rock meets nu-metal chaos.

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By Ross Macdonald

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The Horrible Crowes – Behold The Hurricane

“Hey it’s some dude doing a really good impression of the guy from The Gaslight Anthem!” Yeah that’s because it is Brian Fallon from The Gaslight Anthem. Accompanied by guitar tech Ian Perkins, The Horrible Crowes make dark, blues-inspired rock, laced with that moody shiftiness of stepping into a bar you’re unaccustomed to and having the entire clientele turn to look in your direction at ‘what the cat dragged in.’ Gritty and lonely; a song that sounds like someone singing about a glass half empty than half full, would be interested to hear a lot more of this project.

The Devil Wears Prada – Born To Lose

Shouty metalcore usually bores me to the point of wanting to throw myself off something, but at least The Devil Wears Prada bother to actually inject some originality. Three different vocal batterings are on offer; from the wide-eyed, banshee howl of disgust, to the guttural bellowing to the clean, Dallas Green-style harmonies this Christian mob do a decent job, and the screams of “BORN TO LOSE!” over a wave of crunching beatdowns certainly help matters.

Trivium – In Waves

Lol Trivium. Seriously guys? This? Get bent.

Mariachi El Bronx – 48 Roses

Magical stuff this. Mariachi El Bronx triples the passion of their punk counterpart, with a song bursting with sporadic brass, flamboyant guitar plucking, rampant percussion and vocalist Matt Caughthran singing his heart out. Gutsy and mesmerising, this is a band that doesn’t seem to be able to put a foot wrong, whatever their style. If any of the songs on their second album have even half the impact and beauty of ’48 Roses’ then we’re in for a treat.

Charlie Simpson – Farmer & His Gun

Splice my sausages, what in hell is this? Captain Fightstar doing acoustic stuff? Can’t you guys do some really loud breakcore nonsense, or something that sounds like a Dalek wanking in a cathedral as opposed to playing a guitar with 3 strings on a farm up North? Absolutely cringe worthy, hand-wringingly awful lyrics. Good voice though, which is what just about saves it. Preferred your early stuff about the Year 3000.

Rise To Remain – Nothing Left

The guitar playing is in the similar vein as Killswitch Engage – all squealing stop-start stutters of shrill, jagged breaks. Instrumentally, it’s solid, youthful metalcore that favours that radio-friendly appeal of mashing fast metal and clean vocals, that are a touch to pop for my tastes and fall somewhat flat in some areas, which is a shame as there’s real promise lurking here.

All Pigs Must Die – Sacrosanct

Kevin Baker from Hope Con and BARS? Already good. All Pigs Must Die are heavy. Speed, crust-hardcore punk that leaves massive purples bruises bristling with anger. The thrash-metal chorus breaks give the impression of a dense wash of battered and mutilated grindcore played by a band off of Bridge 9 records. Dark, intense hardcore that snaps with menace and desolation.

Ancient VVisdom – The Opposition

Ancient VVisdom look like 4 guys who fell off the set of Sons of Anarchy. I was pleasantly surprised to find that they sounded nothing like I imagined. Instead of some trite standard thrash metal, ‘The Opposition’ is a song born from the body of stomping, almost acoustic folk-metal with a hint of bluesy-angst and rebellion. “Hail to thee, Lord Lucifier” croons vocalist Nathan, who’s voice is laced with sombre dejection and a hint of revulsion. Stirling work lads, definitely worth repeated listens.

Circles – Act III

Il Nino, is that you? Knock three times….nicely gnarly bass. Probably should tune those guitars differently lads? No? Sod you then. Got tired of the quiet/loud/quiet dynamic 2 minutes in – sounds like Incubus from the ‘Make Yourself’ album – which I like, but I’m sitting here thinking “why don’t I put Incubus on instead?” Good voice mind, but really tedious fits and starts which just seem an excuse to stretch this track out to well over 5 and a half minutes.

Black Tide – Walking Dead Man

I saw Black Tide recently – was impressed by their energy and metal spirit. The screaming/clean vocal mix is fairly old hat, but Black Tide nail it incredibly well, injecting their youthful exuberance and bite into their music. They’re incredibly tight and the vocals work best when Gabriel is barking them with barely restrained spite. Somewhat too clean-cut in places – the edges kinda need roughening up.

Hawks and Doves – Hexing

Ex-Planes Mistaken For Stars frontman Gared O’Donnell has the kind of voice that cuts deep – it could probably strip paint from walls. It’s a scratchy, hoarse croak of brooding disgust; like he’s spent the day downing whisky and chain-smoking then stepped into the recording studio after a coughing fit. Musically, there’s elements of stoner-rock at its very bare-bones, rattling and cracking to pieces under a punk attitude of misery. Absolutely love it.

Hildamay – Delicate

I don’t like the name, but the music is something I could be seriously interested in hearing more of. Obvious points of interest point to Hot Water Music; the deep throaty rattle provided by frontman Tim Lawrence, who sounds like his diet has consisted of purely gravel and lighter fluid. It has that early 90s emo blast of jangled guitars, mixed with big walls of crashing drums and scrawling feedback.

Lightguides – Bachelor Death Party

Not sure what the hell is going on here, but I like it. For a three piece, Lightguides make quite a racket. Both guitars see-saw up and down through some quite taunt and tuneful post-hardcore, that tries to sound like a Fall Out Boy song, but even tighter, with jagged, cutting guitar lines and a full-blown injection of sugary pop-punk bounce. Like a bunch of attention deficit disorder patients smashing their instruments into each other over some odd time changes.

Nazca Lines – Bones In Boxes

Nazca lines have been listening to Rick Froberg a lot then. Nice stop-start parts on this, kind of staggers with this menacing, creepy gait. Vocals are superb – a demanding, sterile shout over some huge post-hardcore rock that sounds fucking massive.

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By Ross Macdonald

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I’ve only heard a smattering of past Set Your Goals material – what I have experienced has been decent (several tracks off of ‘Mutiny’, their second album - ‘This Will Be The Death Of Us’ and this excellent Jawbreaker cover) – it’s rapid-fire pop-punk, that doesn’t stop bouncing; some nice dual vocals between the nasal-twins and it fits that template of fast hardcore with the sugary guitar chords of a radio-friendly hit.

I read somewhere that ‘Burning At Both Ends’ was a ‘make or break’ record for Set Your Goals. Clearly, those sort of remarks are often banded about just to drum up publicity for the record, because I can imagine this is a release that they are going to want to tour the arse off of. ‘Burning At Both Ends’ is certainly a lot more poppier than past material I have experienced from the sextet. It sounds so incredibly clear and clean – not a bum guitar note, no scrawling feedback; just this very crisp and polished sound. Something which can be both a gift and a curse.

Set Your Goals know how to write a killer chorus though and in pop-punk it’s vital; it’s the lifeblood of the song and they pretty much nail it on every track on ‘Burning At Both Ends.’ Similar to Pulled Apart By Horses, Set Your Goals are heavily influenced by the 80’s, or at least gratuitously reference that decade to death. I mean, have you seen the video for ‘Certain’? It’s a complete glorious mess of film-montages, Michael J Fox worshipping and really dodgy looking CGI.

Opening tracks ‘Cure For Apathy’ and ‘Start The Reactor’ (an obvious nod to Total Recall) are boisterous, pogoing anthems – the former, being a raucous explosion of rapid-fire pop-rock, packed with gang-vocals and bass-heavy rumbles, whilst the latter takes a more hardcore sound; crunching opening riffs that see-saw up and down, ricocheting against the dual-vocal attack.

‘Certain’ however, is where the high mark is at – and rivals The Wonder Years for pop-punk song of the year. It’s a cheeky, fresh-faced leap of barely restrained energy in around 3 minutes. The bizarre Back To The Future-inspired video, complete with the ridiculously badly animated tentacle monster, cheesy dancing and lasers blasting from the band’s instruments and eyes shows that Set Your Goals have a sense of humour and freely embrace their obvious referencing in a gloriously silly way. Also, by the time the 3rd chorus has swung round of the insanely catchy “and if you really want to fight with me…” and you’re not singing it back in your best nasal tone, you’ve officially no soul. It’s like the first time you heard ‘Hit Or Miss’ or anything off of the first New Found Glory album – it’s just poppy enough to hook you and reign you in, as well as being punk enough for you to bellow along to and work yourself into a frenzy over.

There’s emotional depth on ‘Happy New Year’, one of the heaviest and starker sounding songs present on this album. “I’ll leave commitments pending; the worst year of my life is ending…” – shows not only sadness, but relief in past events finally being out of sight and enthusiasm for the future being a lot brighter than the darkness that has been left behind. It’s probably one of the most mature sounding songs on the record, touching on moments of early 90’s emo, particularly in the guitars, whilst still rooted in pop sensibilities despite the dark lyrical content.

In contrast, ‘London Heathrow’ spring back to the cheery and cheeky popcore zeal, complete with superb vocal-trade offs between Matt and Jordan, almost finishing each others verses with their eagerness. ‘The Last American Virgin’ shares lyrical similarities with the 1982 film it is named after – boy warring for the affections of a girl who doesn’t know what she really wants. The pop-hooks are once again, huge-snagging blasts of liveliness and vigorous punk melody. ‘Exit Summer’ is proper old-school hardcore-speed-pop fury – fast-paced vocals that stumble over each other in their escape, air-punching choruses, brimming with passion and some nice crunching breakdowns.

Would you believe there’s actually a song called ‘Product of the 80’s?’ Yeah. The chorus is fucking hilarious, sample:

“I grew up with David Lee and Tiffany, in love with Billie Jean and was terrified of Freddy. I grew up, no dvds or mp3s or plasma screen tvs because I’m a product of the 80’s.”

It works though; for all it’s face-palming horror, Set Your Goals nail it on a song that is the equivalent of a huge steaming lump of stilton. They even have time to throw in loads of stupid quotes from the Goonies, Saved By The Bell and other dross in the break before the last chorus. The instrumentation even sounds like it’s from the 80’s – packed with weird synthesised shrieks and bleeps.

The thing is, ‘Burning At Both Ends’ is a fun album – it’s built to be played at parties – it’s the kind of record you’d blast out at an American frat party – hell, Set Your Goals would probably play at some freshman’s college dorm for a few kegs and a warm bed. It’s obvious that Set Your Goals have really enjoyed creating this album; enthusiasm and fervour sweats off of it in bucketloads – essential summer listening, a cracking third release from a band that deserve more recognition.

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Links

Set Your Goals
Set Your Facebook
Epitaph

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By Ross Macdonald

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I only discovered The Wonder Years a few months back on a Rock Sound CD and was, if you pardon the cheesy expression – hooked. Their songs are a huge rush of spirited punk rock and storytelling. Apparently they’ve been around for 7 years, but this is the first I’ve heard of them.

As album titles go, it’s quite a mouthful. Taken from the Alan Ginsberg poem ‘America’, ‘Suburbia…’, tells ‘the story so far’ if you will, of The Wonder Years. It seems packed with references to their past releases (lyrical call-backs litter every song, as well as nods to Saves The Day and Ginsberg’s ‘America’. It’s a nice idea – a sort of concept pop-punk album if you will.

‘Came Out Swinging’ fades in through a sampled, confused voice and a drum roll before exploding with vocalist Dan ‘Soupy’ Campbell bellowing “MOVED ALL MY SHIT INTO MY PARENT’S BASEMENT AND OUT OF OUR OLD APARTMENT…” as he begins a long list of ailments and a desire to stay young, despite the stress, pressures and fatigue of a hectic lifestyle. There’s a sense of ‘world weary’ in Soupy’s lyrics, especially “my heart keeps saying stay young, my lower back seems to disagree” – but it’s the boisterous energy and barely restrained glee with which these words are spat which seem to say otherwise – singing about being shattered in a exuberant way is the new black. It’s obviously a song about the pressures of touring – “I spent the year as a ghost…” – never settling, roaming across America, across Europe, across the world possibly. “I’m not sure where home is anymore” – The Wonder Years should tour with Touche Amore. It’s hopeful though; “I spent the winter, writing songs about getting better and if I’m honest…I’m getting there” roars Soupy, in an enthused bear-like growl.

I’m still trying to decide what I like most about ‘Woke Up Older’; early contender for my track of the year. The lyrics aren’t as good as ‘Came Out Swinging’ but the chorus – my god the chorus. It’s a huge anthemic hook of enormous sing-along proportions: “HEY JESS, I WOKE UP OLDER CARRYIN’, TWO YEARS OF BAGGAGE UNDER MY EYES!” It’s one of those songs that the fans absolutely bellow from the rooftops – it’s a fist-pumping raucous shout of barely restrained energy and rampant enthusiasm. I think though, it’s because the chorus seems to have a similar structure to ‘Shoulder The Wheel’ by Saves The Day (a track which is referenced on the last track of this album).

‘My Life As A Pigeon’ is a mixture of Guttermouth punk rock – it’s snotty and abrasive, yet has that vibrant, fresh-faced appeal of New Found Glory. It’s also relentlessly optimistic, which is what ‘Suburbia…’ seems to harness – it points out areas where things need improvement, but punches itself on the shoulder and says “life could be worse, so let’s make it better – let’s make the most of our situation, let’s not dwell, yeah?” ‘Summers in PA’ exemplifies this the most – the chorus:

“There’s something about weeknights in the suburbs
And there’s something about me and all my friends
Kings of awkward situations
The plum blossoms are falling
I’m more than happy going down with them.”

It’s soppy as fuck, but damn – it’s the kind of honest, passionate, gang-mentality punk rock spirit that makes music feel so alive and visceral. ‘Coffee Eyes’ is a heady slice of melodic rock, dipping into some heavy drum rolls, mellow passages but still this gutsy determination and snappy, punk rock barks of wanting to succeed, brimming with positive vibes and agitated aggression.

‘Don’t Let Me Cave In’ is a Four Year Strong-worthy circle pit of hard, fast and dangerous punk rock. It draws much on what made ‘Coffee Eyes’ sound so personal, yet swaps out the mellow passages and melodic rock, for hefty slices of vibrant punk energy, fist-waving mid-sections, gang-vocal cries “DON’T! LET ME CAVE IN!” and yet another HUGE sonic-sing-a-long chorus, with vocalist Soupy touching some nerves and hearts with his passionate delivery. In contrast, ‘You Made Me Want To Be A Saint’ is just over 90 seconds of near-hardcore punk ferocity; gang-vocal swear-a-thon choruses, taunt punchy guitar lines and dual-vocal call-and-return under a barrage of pissed-off chords.

‘Suburbia, I’ve Given You All And Now I’m Nothing’ is a kicking and beating heart of the current new-pop punk scene and it’s an album I can’t recommend enough. A superb, uplifting collection of songs, packed with gutsy, “I want to hug you and jump around like a lunatic” choruses, along with a heavy dose of speed and snapping charm.

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Links

The Wonder Years
The Wonder Years Myspace
Hopeless Records

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By Ross Macdonald

Christ, could you imagine it – you’re talking to an elderly member of your family, perhaps one who you haven’t seen in a while and has just got over some operation and they ask:

Nan: “So, what have you been up to recently?”
You: “oh, not much, working and stuff…I play in a band.”
Nan: “That’s good, is it a rock band?”
You: “Yeah.”
Nan: “And what are they called?”
You: *pause* “Cancerous Womb?”

Yeah, well fucking done you.

Ok, this was released back in May but I’ve only just got round to looking at it. I feel duty bound to perhaps scrawl some words of insanity though, as I took the time and bandwidth to download the thing. 20 tracks over 60 minutes? Oh god. Well, as an introduction to the underground UK metal scene, yeah it’s a good start really, so hats off to small independent labels like Condate records for doing it.

Colonel Blast

Northern Black Metal – so it’s going to be some dudes shouting about breaking my legs if I don’t buy them some cigarettes over a lot of guitar jerking? Colonel Blast sound tinny; the drums are a clattering machine gun fire of someone trashing a bunch of huge dustbins, whilst the guitars grind through some pretty tight speed metal. The slower bits are mind-numbingly shit though and plod like a three legged elephant – lumpy and off-kilter. ‘The Crime Is Passion’ finds its feet in actually being fairly taunt and menacing. There are some nice time changes, furious stop-start patterns and it’s really great for the most part, some nice brutal beatdowns and a real sense of “I think someone is trying to kill me…” vibe. They then ruin it with a fucking fade out – what the hell? Learn to finish a song, don’t start turning the volume down you pussies. Minus a billion points.

Cancerous Womb

This smacks of wanting to be the Scottish version of Anal Cunt. Seth Putnam is probably rolling in his grave. ‘Copying Anal Cunt is Gay’ dudes. It’s not as funny, but there’s some nice stupid thrashy bits mixed in with this unsightly mess of grind, metal and barbaric noise. ‘Tepid Decrepit’ is easily the best track – it’s insultingly brutal and sporadic and doesn’t seem to know which way to turn, seeming content to just mash bottoming-out riffs and double-bass pedal terror in order to achieve results. The live track ‘Austrian Basement’ sounds like a truck load of pigs being stamped to bits in a slaughter house by Leatherface whilst listening to ‘Everyone Should Be Killed.’

Magpyes

Yeah, either that’s the drum machine from hell, or about 6 drummers or something not of this earth. Love the description on their facebook page: “intense eardrum pummeling northern grind! So fast you’ll shit!!”

Some reasons why Magpyes are the best band on this release:

1.    Most of their songs are around 50 seconds long and even the longest one (at 3:42) doesn’t sound like a complete fucking chore
2.    They obviously have a sense of humour.
3.    Some of the best drumming I’ve heard this year – blisters? I’m surprised his kit isn’t stained red after every show.
4.    It’s straight up, no messing around grindcore, with some wicked sludge-metal moments, aka similar to Weekend Nachos.
5.    They’re from Leeds, so they probably all have Xboxes and have shot me in the face numerous times on Halo.
6.    The vocals actually sound like a load of magpies being fed through a mincer.
7.    They have a song called ‘Wolf Bukkake’ and another song ‘Sir You Forget Yourself’, which seems to exist as a wall of pure ear-pummeling chaos, with no tune, chorus, mid-section or style, yet still absolutely kills it.

Dyscaphia

Yet again, we have a drummer who seems intent on exploding like the dude out of Scanners all over his kit – absolutely bludgeoning playing ability on ‘Impious Conflagration’ – hey, isn’t that a Warhammer magic spell? Causes 2D6, strength 4 hits, no armour save, right? From Manchester, Dyscaphia are tech-death metal that ticks all the boxes in some insane asylum where death metal bingo is played. I actually don’t know what the screams were at the end of the Warhammer song and I think it’s best it was left that way quite frankly. Dyscaphia know how to make someone feel like their about to be left a gibbering, bleeding wreck. Don’t really like the vocals; they sound like some fat accountant belching out passages from Lord of the Rings, rather than some bat-shit insane black-metal druid barking commands to the dark overlord.

Diascorium

Also from Leeds, Diascorium are a different breed; more all over the place than anyone else on this split – they seem to be content to pick from a massive, overbearing metal tree loaded down with styles. Rather than selecting a few and honing their skills on them, they seem to have cut down the thing and dragged it back to their pit and brutally torn it to shreds, sucking every last bit of taste they can out of it. A mess is what it is. There are some weird moments of jazz, thrown in with detuned guitar squeals, vocals that range from a vomiting burp to a gnashing roar of damnation and then back to some fairly impressive tech-metal posturing that gives it that well needed brick-to-the-face of furious disrespect.

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Links

Colonel Blast
Cancerous Womb
Magpyes
Dyscaphia
Diascorium

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By Ross Macdonald