As stated in a previous post, I was trying to think of somewhere I could send my dad for a live review and it just so happens the wonders of Peterborough beer festival had the answer. Featuring several of his favourite things - ground hops in a liquid format, pub games, ‘crumpet’ and Oliver Reed t-shirts (okay not that), why not let the master brewer review some of the bands? So off he went to sit on a stolen chair, in the middle of the entertainment marquee, with the back of the festival programme to scribble on and half of mild.

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Bands - King Kool, Plastic Soup
Venue - Peterborough Beer Festival
Cost - Fiver
Date - 23rd August
Beer - loads

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The rather crowded stage was set halfway down the long side of a very large marquee. The audience of about sixty people were aimlessly scattered on the large grassed area in front of the stage, with enough open space to park several full grown blue whales.

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King Kool

This was a duo made up of Dan Donovan and Joe Mason. The blurb in the program describes them as quote: “Kicking breed of art garage rock” - whatever that means. The singer was dressed in black reminiscent of Johnny Cash. Unfortunately, that was where the resemblance ended. I endured three songs as the vocalist seemed to be in competition with the drummer in a ‘who can be the loudest’ match. I could not determine any distinguishable words as Joe, the exuberant gum-chewing drummer, drowned them out. The singer to show his virtuosity played a harmonica and short solo on the guitar when the drummer took a breather. The patrons were offered CDs at £7 each. Amazingly none of the paying public rushed to buy a copy. To me, the overall sound was akin to being interned in a forty-gallon drum with several bricks and rolled downhill.

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Plastic Soup

Comprised of four exuberant performers, this group enthusiastically belted out three numbers with the volume and musicality of a jet engine. The lead vocalist wore trousers that appeared to be made from the skins of four Dalmatians. The first number seemed to be called ‘Plastic Soup’, with the singer who appeared to have watched a Mick Jagger video, attempting to copy some rocking moves. The rest of the numbers were a cacophony of sound that assaulted your ears harder than a bailiff banging on a door on rent day. They left much to the imagination as to what the lyrics were about, as the vocals blended into a wall of noise. The low frequency bass made your teeth vibrate enough to give white finger to your lips. (I don’t get this at all – Ross.)

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Links

King Kool
Plastic Soup

Peterborough Beer Festival

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Intro - Ross
Words - Mad Mac

After a brief stint away from the writer’s desk, Mad Mac returns to the fold to pen more words of wisdom on the current ‘hot’ acts that are trawling the musical airwaves. After the slamming he gave (The) Foals last time, how will indie-darlings Johnny Foreigner go down? Let’s see…

(If you want your band/song/face reviewed by Mad Mac, drop us a line to the usual e-mail address or why not try the ‘Ask Mad Mac’ button at the top of the page.)

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The Hold Steady - Sequestered in Memphis

During this very long intro I was begining to loose the will to live, in fact I was not sure I would live long enough to hear it finish. But finish it did. I felt the vocalist lost his way wondering around the Southern States. With enough listens I think this one would grow on you, but then so can ringworm.

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Me First and the Gimme Gimmes - The Boxer

Puts me in mind of the Sex Pistols trying to annoy by murdering a well known classic. Remakes can be risky and can be rubbish if the rendition does not work - it does not work. Pity.

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Jay Reatard - See/Saw

Very hard on the drums (ear drums). I feel the drummer brought his own drum kit along and they had to let him play, even though it tried to drown out the vocalist (if only.) The lyrics very samey all I could understand was “she freaks me out” repeatedly, a bit how I felt at the end.

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She & Him - I Was Made For You

High school musical type tune, I felt it tried to remind me of “Grease” - it didn’t. The girl tried her best, hope she is good looking and they have better material than this. (She is and I perhaps should have picked a better song, faux pas on my part - Ross)

Johnny Foreigner - Salt, Pepper and Spinderella

Bad sounding percussion. Reminds me of banging your head against a metal locker at school. The ending cannot start too soon, or be too short, unfortunately is does go on a bit to make the track seem longer, it succeeds.

Pulled Apart By Horses - The Lighthouse

Pulled apart by horses? It felt like it! The end would be a blessed relief, which is exactly what it was. The finish was a bit abrupt it does seem that the “Music Appreciation Society” or the “Noise Abatement Society” had got to the mains power. My life was not enriched by this listening experience.

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Nice. If anyone has any ideas for gigs to send Mad Mac to, post your comment below or drop us an e-mail. Preferably somewhere he can sit down if need be and one that won’t cost me an arm-and-a-leg in ticket price/travel/beer.

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Links

‘Stay Positive’ by The Hold Steady is out now through Rough Trade.

‘Have Another Ball’ by Me First and the Gimme Gimmes is available from the Fat Wreck Chords site. You can also download an MP3 of ‘The Boxer‘ as well.

Jay Reatard stuff can be bought from the Matador Records site, including the singles comp that ‘See/Saw’ comes from.

‘Volume 1′ by She & Him is out now on the Merge Records site.

‘Waiting Up Til It Was Light’ by Johnny Foreigner is out now on Best Before Records, but the site seems confusing, so try Amazon if you want to get it.

Pulled Apart By Horses have all their songs available for free download from their website, check it out.

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Intro - Ross
Words - Mad Mac

As promised in the mixtape post, yet another installment of ‘Mad Mac Reviews’. It’s been quite a while since the last, so he’s pulled out the stops to make this one extra harsh. He’s putting me out of a job with this quality of writing, seriously.

(If you want your band reviewed by Mad Mac or anyone else on the writing team, drop us an e-mail/carrier pigeon/shout really loudly.)

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Foals - Cassius (Transgressive)

The opening bars brought me back to the days of George Formby with his ukulele; I wish it hadn’t. I long thought those days were dead and gone - fortunately hearing the rest, I realised they had. On two occasions I thought mercifully that the CD had stuck, but it moved on to a thankful finale. The lyrics took very little learning as it seemed to be the word ‘Cassius’ repeated over and over. I’m not sure why, but at least it gave the song a title.

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This Will Destroy You - Threads (Magic Bullet Records)

When this track started, I felt finally that there would be a track that I could listen to. This was a completely different type of music, which turned out to be one long session of opening bars. A bit like sex with lots of foreplay and no grand conclusion. I did wonder if the sound man had put his pizza on the controls and if this had caused the music to accidentally blur, which gave them the sense of improving it, not so! (I’ve no idea what this means. - Ross)

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Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - DIG, LAZARUS, DIG! (Mute)

The phrase ‘Lazarus dig yourself‘ is repeated throughout the track and I’m not sure why. It reminded me of some songs I heard at discos in the late 70s - very heavy bass thumping in the background. One can imagine this will be popular played very loud in a small car driven by a youth with a backward facing baseball cap. In addition, as the car drives up the street the driver trying to look cool as the heavy base thumps out, causing the car to lurch forward and back like a demented heartbeat. Even so, I quite liked it, as long as I didn’t have to listen to it played on a car stereo.

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MGMT - Time To Pretend (Columbia)

The opening sequence seemed to have been recorded in a bath with the occupant farting into the mic. The start of the lyrics seemed to be promising until the volume of the synthesiser is just loud enough to drown out all but a few of the words. It would be the sort of music played by that annoying neighbour during one of his dreadful late night parties. This track is ideal for annoying all those who live around you. This works on some level, I am just not sure what that level is.

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Future of the Left - Manchasm (Too Pure)

When this track started, I thought that the player had developed a fault, the one note repeated throughout the sequence only started to become annoying after the first ten seconds. This developed into a crescendo of unintelligible noise masquerading under the guise of lyrics. A row usually heard at the end of long nights clubbing when the management want you all to go home so that they can pack up.

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The Mountain Goats - San Bernadino (4AD)

By far the most pleasant track of the collection. It does seem that the musicians can in fact play and are not hiding their lack of talent by producing a cacophony of noise. The singer has a voice for karaoke, and the lyrics can be heard, and in keeping with the tune. The type of music to play while enjoying a cup of coffee late at night, just before going to bed.

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Links

See above! I’m going to watch The Shield and try to perfect ‘Manchasm‘ on the stylophone.

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Intro: Ross
Words: Mad Mac

The second installment of ‘Mad Mac Reviews’ hits the screen like body parts splattering from a combine harvester accident. Yes, the man himself has returned to spill more pearls of wisdom with his views of the today’s music. He was locked up in a room with just a biro and a scrap of paper, with only the same 6 songs piped into his ears for company. Here’s what he thought of each one…..

(All views expressed are by Mad Mac. If you feel he has been unjust with a review of your band or you’re a fan of the band and want to complain, grow up, it’s just a larf. Who knows, one day we might actually give him something he enjoys! End transmission….)

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Liars - Plaster Casts of Everything

This track would probably improve if the keyboard player could play a few more notes. The lyrics need to be listened to very carefully to see if any words are actually being used. I did and concluded that there are none. The overall sound is monotonous and is ideal for the sort of person who does not like any distinguishing point to this kind of music. (What??? - Ross)

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65daysofstatic - Don’t go down to Sorrow

An instrumental offering that I did not detest from the start. It is obvious that they could at least play their instruments. A lot of this type of music seems to be played by people who have spent at least 20 minutes learning to play about three or four notes. They then keep repeating them in an attempt to suggest they can play .On the whole, a nice track as long as you do not have to listen to it for too long.

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Northern State - Better Already

Nice to hear a discernible tune the lyrics are a bit samey and difficult to hear. However, listening to the words is not the point of this type of music. It is the overall sound that matters. This is a song the will live with you for a long time, as I could not get the repetitious tinny voice out of my head for quite a while, try as I might. A group I could visualise on one of my blacker moods.

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No Age - Everybody’s Down

The predominant noise throughout this track is the pummel of heavy bass guitars. I can imagine this in a small room possibly causing structural damage. The singer tries valiantly to be heard over the music; and most of the time he succeeds. I fear he should not sing for too long for health and safety reasons because of damage to his voice. It would be a great shame if he were lost to the world of music because of overexposure.

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Melt Banana - Blank Page of the Blind

The weighty beat of the heavy percussion succeeds very well in drowning out the vocalist. For this they deserve a medal. The singer I think, must be aged about 12 and should have been left at home with her mum. Little was added by the sound. The music and vocals were frantic as if they could not wait to finish; I know how they felt.

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500 Miles to Memphis - All My Friends are Crazy

The fiddle playing is very good and makes me think of an Irish pub for tourists or a barn dance. The vocals I could hear but soon lost interest in. Nice arrangement, good tune and not too long, for which we can all be thankful.

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A result I think, at least 3 out of the 6 tracks were given a slightly positive ‘thumbs up’ from the old man. I wouldn’t be surprised if I saw him at the next No Age gig! (’Fat chance’ - Mad Mac)

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Intro - Ross
Words - Mad Mac

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Additional and Links

- Liars are set to release their 4th album on Mute Records, titled ‘Liars‘ in August. The video for ‘Plaster Casts of Everything‘ can be viewed here.

- 65daysofstatic released their 3rd album on Cargo Records, titled ‘The Destruction of Small Ideas‘ in April 2007. ‘Don’t Go Down to Sorrow‘ was the first single. They plan to support the Cure of their North American Tour.

- Northern State release their 3rd album on Ipecac Records, titled ‘Can I Keep This Pen?‘ on August 14th 2007. The video for ‘Better Already‘ can be viewed here.

- No Age are set to start a tour of America in September in support of their debut full length, ‘Weirdo Rippers‘ on FatCat Records which can be bought here.

- Melt Banana released their sixth studio album, ‘Bambi’s Dilemma‘ on A-Zap records in April 2007.

- 500 Miles to Memphis’s album, ‘Sunshine in a Shotglass‘ is out now on Deep Elm records.

This week: Gay against you’s self titled EP.

This new section features a well known technique called ‘copying.’ For this I owe my services to the masters of late night Channel 4 comedy, Adam Buxton and Joe Cornish, aka creators of The Adam And Joe Show. Remember Baaad Dad from the show? Well, I’ve sort of ‘borrowed’ that idea, and got my father to scribble some notes down about this week’s band. Yes, for once, my dad will have listened to some music that was released pre 1946.

The sad part of the story is the keep it fast team love this band! But it is time for the dad to rise and say what all Dad’s are thinking..

So, I shall now hand you over to the capable writing talents of the man himself. Enjoy.

*Disclaimer - all thoughts are expressed in a light-hearted and comical way over the next few paragraphs. If Adam or Joe want this idea removed I will do so. Thank you, and goodnight Vienna.

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“The skirl of the pipes across the Scottish glens is a sound to bring tears to the eyes of almost any Scot. The first track on this album does not do that. It sounds a bit like a absolute beginner being played backwards. I can find no discernible melody or tune, nothing I can get a mental hook on to allow me to listen.

The second one has a fragile melody smashed to bits that follows through the piece. It has interspersed through it, random notes by a variety of indiscriminately badly tuned instruments.

The third has instrumental pieces that could have come from Tudor times and should have stayed there. There was an over use of electronic wizardry. The lyrics were present but I am not what the language was.

The forth and fifth tracks sound as if they were made up, as they went along with random notes in some purposeless order.

Track six has lyrics that sound like they have been obtained during a torture session; having been ripped from the singer’s throat by red-hot pincers. There is also more white noise than I have heard for a very long time.

The seventh starts off as if it came from different CD; heavy drums and an electronic organ that should have been discarded a long time ago. The lyrics seem to have been recorded by the vocalist outside in a car park, which is where I would have liked to have been during this session.

Track eight sounds as if it is stuck and keeps going round on a circle. Everything is quietening down and it is time to take yourself and the girl you have picked up home; as compared to the rest of the album, this is the last dance I cannot wait to finish.”

Right….so, as you can see, it was a real hit with the old man.

He gives Gay against you’s self titled EP:

Links

The EP in question can be downloaded for free from the band’s last fm page.

Myspace is totally Gay.

G.A.Y. profile on ADAADAT Label.

Sounds

If you don’t fancy downloading, but want to listen, check out the track ‘Ppanda‘ with its “fragile melody; smashed to bits…”

Get the Flash Player to see the wordTube Media Player.

Don’t forget to tune in next week for more features, in which we send my dad to see grindcore band, Haemorrhagic Smallpox; let him go on tour as sound technician for New York Stock Exchange and interviews techno-trance folk duo, Deep-fried Guinea Pig. Sorted.

Intro & Conclusion - Ross Macdonald
Words - Mad Mac