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Artist – Mr_Barbs
EP – The Dead Man’s Hand
Label – none, self released via myspace (£3)
Sounds like – Sublime gone folk-rock whilst conversing with an acoustic cowboy.

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There are many positive points to being a solo artist. One that springs to mind immediately is complete freedom to create songs about whatever you want and in any style without someone in the background saying “yeah…we could do that, or….” – i.e. the constant nagging voice of the perpetual underminer as all your brilliant song ideas and witty lyricisms are cast aside for something with the depth and emotion of a depressed puddle. Another is the fact you can never break-up. Well, you can stop playing music, but there’s none of the “no, YOU suck” rivalry, unless you have an acrimonious disagreement with your guitar and dash it to pieces against the nearest wall. I suppose because of this, there are a lot of musicians choosing to do their own thing now without the struggles and shackles of being held down by a band. Going it alone armed with your acoustic (or in Mr_Barbs’s case, 2 acoustics (1 which resembles what a car made of saucepans and a vintage lute would produce if they had sex) and a ukulele seems the way forward. Mr_Barbs (as previously featured here) is the work of Chris Barbour, a one-man guitar-fest of sombre acoustic whispers, Hawaiian upstrokes, loss and regret (as depicted on his myspace) and songs that may or may not reference card games.

Fitting to its name, ‘The Bargeman’s Rest’ opens proceedings with the tone of a mournful sea-shanty. The sorrowful string arrangement creates a melancholy backdrop to the rapid guitar-strumming, whilst the layered, echoing vocals wash over the mix like some ghostly, hastily drawn breath. It’s the kind of track that would suit sound-tracking a panning shot of a cosy, yet dank, fisherman’s pub, possibly in a lost scene from one of those Pirates of the Caribbean movies, if you catch my drift.

The light-airiness of ‘Buckled’ has a kind of ‘Island In The Sun’-vibe to it. Whilst it doesn’t sound like this Weezer classic in a tune sense; it contains the soothing calm within its tropical sound – mostly thanks to the atmospheric backing track of stuttering strings and glitchy-Caribbean noises. Certainly one of the strongest tracks on this EP and one that I find myself replaying the most. The soundtrack to sitting in a garden on a summer’s day, quaffing a nice cold pint. I don’t know why, but after listening to ‘Buckled’ I want to watch some laid-back, 1960s-style light-hearted cop drama set in a village featuring Nick Berry.

The upbeat change of pace is out of context, but a welcoming in the form of third track, ‘Now I Know What I Know’, which sounds like George Formby (instrument-wise thankfully!) gone calypso, whilst channelling the ska-lite licks of Bradley Nowell. The song tells the familiar, yet sweet story of boy-meets-girl by the medium of seeking out a girl at a gig and chivalrously offering her his coat. It even features a little maraca shake at the end – more ‘skacoustic’ (new genre for NME to lap up) please Mr_Barbs.

‘Nights Like These’ is bookmarked by two passages of quick-guitar strumming that bring to mind American guitarist, Sir Richard Bishop. It has that same choppy, rhythmic quality and features a similarly stark, isolated sound. The track is fleshed out in the mid-section with the introduction of some bare percussion and the return of the haunting, looped vocals somewhere in the background. The xylophone touches in the end section add a nice twee-touch to the whole affair.

‘In The Shadows’ gives the impression of being recorded inside the back of a car, or possibly near the beach – the tender rush of what could possibly be waves or wind in the background filters through at the 40 second mark, before the studio recording kicks into life, shifting into a faster tempo. My interpretation of the lyrics is that of a woman triumphing over a man, whilst the listener is told to side woman, in the line “you’ll think that he’s a disgrace” or maybe it’s a subtle attempt at putting the idea into the listeners head to see the man as ‘being in the wrong.’ However, the impression in the next part is that the woman is the one who is the real disgrace, as she’s accused of ‘betraying the man.’ In any case, it comes across as quite a bitter track, both vocally and through the dark instrumental sections, despite what sounds like the happy tones of the ukulele hidden beneath the layer of guitars.

“It’s never going to tame me, it’s only going to shame me, but it’s comforting to know that someone cares…” sings Mr_Barbs on ‘Buckled’ – you’ve got nothing to worry about; with songs of this quality,  rest assured people will, should and do care. This is a splendid and well crafted selection of songs that vary in style and tone as they progress.

You can purchase ‘The Dead Man’s Hand’ from the Mr_Barbs myspace by clicking here.

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Links

Mr_Barbs Myspace

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By Ross Macdonald

Posted: July 10th, 2009 in News, Reviews, mp3's.
Comments: none

Band – White Boys For Gay Jesus
EP – White Boys For Brothel Med Clinics
Label – unsigned
Release date – now!
Sounds like – Some caucasian gentlemen and a homosexual christ falling over in a music shop.

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Come on, you can’t tell me that a small smile didn’t flicker across your stone-cold face at the sight of this band name. It’s nice to hear something that’s obvious incredibly tongue in cheek, but also quite grim and perverted at the same time. Following along the similar lines as hardcore homo-boys, Gay For Johnny Depp, White Boys For Gay Jesus are a lot less subtle. Instead of convoluted song titles regarding sticking your finger in someone’s arse, or outing Paul Stanley, WBFGJ go straight for the throat with titles such as ‘Pussy Cake’ and ‘File To Fuck.’ Also similar to the New York Jack Sparrow lovers, their vocalist remains wholly indistinguishable as he splutters, shouts and drunkenly roars quick-fire blasts of eager musings over the band’s own brand of mangled electro-tinged hardcore. I don’t mean electro in the Enter Shikari way of someone listening to a 4th-rate metalcore band on myspace, only realising they’ve left their itunes on and it’s mixed it with a Ministry of Sound compilation. Oh no, it’s the delicate touches of synthesised breaks and Alias-style passages that lend a certain ambience and texture to the recordings. The key to this is not to overdo it; keep it subtle and use it sparingly, which the White Boys do.

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White Boys For Gay Jesus are an interesting prospect though. Whilst their sound show some elements of standard metallic-hardcore, there’s a certain amount of charm and witticism is the recordings that make them stand out from the crowd. Mostly these are down to the song titles, which dip into new territories of ‘low’ but keep up with their persona of being an amusing and genuinely fun sounding band. Nowadays, musicians are far too serious; standing around looking moody in a graveyard, wearing the same black metal shirt with cut off sleeves, banging on about being defeated and rising from the ashes – seriously dull. What we need is songs like ‘Gang Ape Sex Tape’; which treads on similar ground to Every Time I Die (back when they weren’t all Southern-raawwwwk); incorporating tongue-twisting vocal patters, jerking, off-kilter guitar lines and rumbling bass grooves. In places it twists and revolts like a Converge track put through a mixer, only with cleaner but equally unstable vocals, which dip from standard razor-sharp screams, to classic metal wails.

‘Pussy Cake’ takes the ideas exhibited in ‘Gang Ape Sex Tape’ and expands upon them, utilising the singer’s bark-like vocal technique with the stop-start sound of the guitars and the kind of verse that wouldn’t look out of place on Dillinger Escape Plan’s ‘Ire Works.’ What’s impressive about WBFGJ’s sound is the way they cram so much into their 2-3 minute blasts of raw power. In that respect, they remind me of The Locust, but with a longer attention-span, choosing to spend more time on certain passages – shaping and moulding them into something that sticks in your mind, rather than rushing through them in 2 seconds like the roadrunner with attention deficit disorder.

‘Naked Lunch’ takes a different direction, starting off with a fuzzed-out, distorted piece of near-incomprehensible speech (“down into the fires….and something about gangsters is all I can make out); which is then joined by a dream-like passage of methodical drumbeats, jagged guitars and sinister glitch-filled scratching, that builds and builds into the next track, ‘Rot Knocker.’ Here’s where things take another turn, as the scratching continues, The Prodigy seem to take control for 10 seconds, adding their traditional ‘it sounds like a warped siren getting louder’ noise, which blends beautifully with now turbulent beats erratic metal slap of the track’s main body. The most savage offering however is the caustic thrash of ‘File To Fuck’ which mixes Botch-like bass grooves, blood-curdling roars and grindcore-worthy drumming, that comes in fits and bursts like a tourette’s suffer during a particularly violent attack. The erratic urgency of the song’s beginning is slowly taken apart piece by piece and replaced with such a bizarre and almost DEP-metal mid-section that utilises the band’s sampling technique in an important, yet scatter-brained way. The last minute or so offers several crushing breakdowns alongside the fearsome growls that builds and builds, before trailing off in a clatter of ear-rattling cymbal smashes and screeching guitar feedback.

‘Womb‘ is yet another stark change of pace for the White Boys crew. It’s a soothing, 4 minute haze of gentle instrumental wash that wouldn’t look out of place soundtracking some pretentious foreign arthouse flick. Even the rambling, muffled speech at the start, which sounds like it was recorded in a church underwater fits into this analogy. It is however, an enveloping, somber drone that ends this EP in quite a gentle, yet bleak way.

For fans of disastercore experts Down I Go, the ball-breaking rumblings of Botch, the schizophrenic metal barrage of Dillinger Escape Plan and a fair slap of bawdy humour. White Boys For Gay Jesus hit a clear home-run for UK metal, fantastic work – go buy the EP right now.

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Links

White Boys For Myspace
White Boys For Last.fm

Posted: February 13th, 2009 in Introducing, Reviews.
Comments: none

So it’s the end of another year and time for yet another list of top albums, gigs, moments and of course the crushing lows of 2008. This year has been particularly brilliant in the world of music, with bands from the UK metal scene releasing some truly fantastic albums, some thunderous live performances from acts such as Arnocorps, Goldfinger, Gay For Johnny Depp; not to mention our homegrown talent in the form of The Display Team, And So I Watch You From Afar and Future of the Left.  Other highlights have included Speedo’s sweat-stained shirt, Matt Caughthran’s big smiling face, drumkit towers, Darrin Pfeiffer’s arse and of course, Turkmenbashi. A cracking 12 months.

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Our Top 8 Albums of 2008

8. Sons of Noel and Adrian – Sons of Noel and Adrian (shelsmusic)

This was something I reviewed for another site at the start of the year and I’d forgotten just how good it was. Sons of Noel and Adrian bring dread and darkness to folk music like you wouldn’t believe. Sometimes it’s as bitter as chomping down on a whole bag of lemons, whilst elsewhere it would reduce even Vic Mackey to tears with its chilling message and ghostly sound.

7. The Bronx – The Bronx III (White Drugs)

What I believe to be their most accomplished work to date, ‘III‘ is The Bronx at their finest. The addition of a second guitarist emphasises the beefy, rumbling sound the band now have and just how loud and discordant they’ve become. It’s something of a grower, but at only 33 minutes in length there’s no excuse not to have this on repeat, headbanging, as you cruise down the motorway at excessive speeds, window rolled down and middle finger raised high (review here).

6. Black Sheep Wall – I Am God Songs (shelsmusic)

Not for the faint-hearted. In my review, I described it as akin to ‘being crushed with a hydrolic press, ala the end of Terminator.’ In other words, yeah it’s pretty heavy; almost sickeningly. If incomprehensible screaming, sludge-thick riffs and the kind of drumming that brings to mind the sound of bombs going off, then ‘I Am God Songs‘ by the Starcraft loving sheep boys is a worthy addition to your collection.

5. Rocket From The Crypt – All Systems Go Vol. 3 (Vagrant records)

Proof that even after a band has finished, they can still deliver the goods. This new All Systems Go package is 20 more cuts from the RFTC vault and some of their best work to date. It’s as slick as the grease in Danny Zuko’s hair, yet as raw as how I like my steaks and the production feels like a barrel load of grit has been poured over the mixing desk (review here).

4. Take A Worm For A Walk Week – The Monroe Transfer (Undergroove records)

Just really fucked up. Scotland’s Take A Worm For A Walk Week are a more listenable version of the Locust, with less pretentiously baffling song titles and the kind of dislocated scrawl, that’s been soaked in whisky and rolled in dirt and broken glass. Intense, teeth-rattling grindcore that will leave your head spinning and body flailing spasmodically (review here).

3. The Night Marchers - See You In Magic (Vagrant Records)

Is there nothing John Reis can’t do? Why does everything he touch turn to pure solid gold? ‘See You In Magic’ is the debut release of his new project, The Night Marchers and pacts the kind of punch you’d expect from the quiffed wonder. It swaggers with such swashbuckling arrogance, you can’t help but feel this is a band that would bleed ‘cool’ if you cut them.

2. Adebisi Shank – This is an Album of a Band Called Adebisi Shank (Richter Collective)

Possibly one of the finest bands I’ve heard in the last 5 years; Adebisi Shank recreate and destroy music at the same time. Their instrumental math punk clamour is devastatingly furious as it is infectiously danceable; with all 3 band members grinding out some of the most technically impressive sounds using a simple guitar/bass/drum set up. Oh yeah, and a shit load of effects pedals (review here).

1. Down I Go – Tyrant (Undergroove records)

The undisputed winner (although the ‘Shank came close); Down I Go scoop Keep It Fast’s album of the year. As stated in my review, ‘Tyrant’ is: “…their most accomplished work to date and sets an almost impossible standard for the next wave of British metal and hardcore bands to topple. Lyrically, it’s a crash course in tyranny condensed into 12 rabid slabs of ferocious energy and erratically brutal musicianship.” Congratulations guys, you deserve it (review here).

(Other worthy and impressive releases you should own include: ‘The Animals Still Run This City‘ by Scream! Shout! Say Nothing, ‘Civil War‘ by Dillinger Four, ‘Everything Beautiful Reminds Me Of You‘ by Tim Ten Yen, ‘Spirit Animal‘ by Zombi, ‘Ruiner‘ by Made Out Of Babies, ‘Get Awkward‘ by Be Your Own Pet and ‘This Is Our Machine And Nothing Can Stop It‘ by And So I Watch You From Afar.)

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Our Top 8 Gigs of 2008

8.)  Arnocorps @ Dublin CastleIf we ignore the large amount of crowd-surfing dickheads, this was an Arnold Schwarzextraveganza of heroic magnitude by the balliest band in the entire world. Look forward to the new material, especially ‘You Lack Discipline’ – IT IS NOT A TUMOR! (Review)

7.)  Gay For Johnny Depp @ The Camden Barfly

Homoerotic hardcore from a band that needs to release a live album asap. Playing all their recorded material (the total running time must be just over 30 minutes), Gay For Johnny Depp are a scathing, rampant ball of fury and their singer doesn’t mind it if you end up sprawled all over him at the end of the set, in fact, he actively encourages it.  Completely off the scale. (Review)

6.)  Goldfinger @ Islington Academy

Goldfinger are the band that put on a show more than a gig. Instead of standing up and playing the songs, they drag people on stage to sing songs they’ve requested; invite one ‘lucky’ person to eat a foodstuff from their drummer’s arse, tell the shittest jokes imaginable and cover a one-hit wonder track about condoms from 24 years ago that die-hard punk fans love. (Review)

5.)  The Night Marchers @ The 100 Club

The next best thing to seeing Rocket From The Crypt live is The Night Marchers (and Hot Snakes of course), so this one was always going to be a blast. With Speedo’s off-the-wall humour, Gar Wood’s constant grinning and an encore (‘Scene Report‘ and ‘Fisting The Fanbase‘) that left my jaw on the floor, the San-Diego four-piece are the true kings of rock ‘n roll. (Review)

4.)  The Display Team/Bats/Down I Go @ Cross Kings

Triple bill of talent in the form of the brass pounding, stop-start, 6 part vocal harmony punk of The Display Team; Ireland’s art-punk noise rockers Bats and of course, everyone’s favourite disaster boys, Down I Go, playing their last set with drummer Ben and the best version of ‘Saparmurat Niyazov’ (‘Turkmenbashi’) ever.

3.) The Bronx @ Kings College

Barbaric, brutal and brilliant. Three ‘b’s to describe The Bronx and their performance at Kings College back in October. With their sound finally at a listenable level that didn’t leave your ears bleeding. I think the pandemonium that opening track ‘Heart Attack American’ caused, which had people at the bar moshing, is a statement of their intense and powerful live sets. (Review)

2.) The Thermals @ Kings College

One of those gigs in which you can’t stop grinning. The one-two-three punch of ‘No Culture Icons’, ‘Pillar of Salt’ and ‘Here’s Your Future’ was simply majestic. Popular punk-rock at it’s finest, delivered with such exquisite force and passion.

1.) Future Of The Left @ The Water Rats/This Ain’t No Picnic

Featuring some of the best stage banter/heckler-bashing I’ve heard, some truly terrific songs, a drum kit tower and a 12 minute plus rendition of ‘Cloak the Dagger’ to close, means Future of the Left are my live band of 2009. Absolutely stunning. (Review)

(Other notable live highlights include: Fighting With Wire, Alec Empire, The Smoking Hearts, Scream! Shout! Say Nothing, Jaguar Love, The Tupolev Ghost,  Ice, Sea, Dead People, Tropics, Tubelord, And So I Watch You From Afar, Oxes and of course, all the bands at the Smalltown America All Dayer.)

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Low Points of 2008

Meet Me In St. Louis, Johnny Truant and Cutting Pink With Knives all throwing in the towel; Hell Is For Heroes and Reuben going on ‘indefinite hiatus’, Nickelback STILL being allowed to release music. There really is no justice in the world.

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Tips for 2009

Future of the Left are set to release a live album come January and are supposedly working on album number 2, whilst The Bronx, Fucked Up and Rolo Tomassi are heading out on the ‘Shred Your Face 2′ tour in what looks to be one of the best line ups ever. Double-drumming Scottish types Dananananaykroyd are to release their debut album ‘Hey Everyone!‘ sometime in March and tour again (this time I’ll try and see them). Bats are devoting 2009 to releasing their debut album (quite excited about this) and with any luck there should be some progress on new material from Past Lives (ex-Blood Brothers types). Also, Pulled Apart By Horses and their scrappy punk rock, hopefully a Tubelord album and new material from And So I Watch You From A Far. 2009 is set to be fantastic.

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By Ross Macdonald

Posted: December 31st, 2008 in Features, Reviews.
Comments: none

Being a trooper, I managed to make it to two gigs in one night. EFFORT! Not even the opposite ends of Camden could stop me from being present at Tommy Flynns first, before sprinting (ok, ok fast walking) my way across the drug ridden streets of goth central to the Barfly. So, what happened? Well….read on!

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Band – Mr_Barbs
Location – Tommy Flynns, Camden
Date – 2nd Feb

It wasn’t long before Chris Barber (aka, Mr_Barbs) took to the stage, acoustic guitar in hand and the nervous tension he claimed to be haemorrhaging nowhere to be seen. You have to hand it to the guy, after all this is his first gig and having a faulty guitar lead when you’re only 15 seconds into your first song is something that can crack your composure, but not someone like Mr_Barbs. A quick change over and the music resumes. How do 20 odd minutes of melodic acoustic rock sound? What makes Mr_Barbs stand out from other performers is how well crafted and memorable his tracks are. In this respect, he strongly reminds me of Hereford’s Gossamer Albatross and the combination of harmonica and guitar gives the proceeding a nice Green Day-era “Walking Alone‘ feel.

Tracks such as the lonesome sounding “Thursday‘, contain some nice tongue-in-cheek humour, especially in the line “and I know that it isn’t very long, but I’ll sit and write another awful song…” and the subtle romance of “Now I Know What I Know‘ are conveyed well tonight. Altogether, a solid performance from a promising young act; the kind of first gig most bands/solo artists would kill for.

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Links

Myspace

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Band – Gay For Johnny Depp
Location – Camden Barfly

Fuck me – bands like Gay For Johnny Depp should be locked up. No band should be this pant-wettingly good. They’ve probably made some kind of unholy pact with Satan, despite the fact vocalist Marty Leppard is dressed as a vicar on this, their last gig of what has apparently been one tremendous tour. I read in an interview about another band the singer and guitarist are involved in, called God Fires Man, in which the vocalist stated that the camptastic four-piece have probably only “practiced 5 times in the last year” in comparison to his more “serious’ band. From the furious racket they made tonight, you’d be scratching your chin thinking “that sounds like bollocks mate.” They open with “Cumpassion‘ and already the guitars are squealing like someone’s been fisting a pig and the barfly is laid to waste in 2 breathtakingly short minutes. After that, the New York queer-machine set about killing music in the best way possible. Blast-beat slabs of noise-punk are scattered like a machine gun set on automatic fire and thrown down some metal steps.

Ultra-swearothon anthem “No Teeth, Thumbs Up‘ encourages the audience to chant the words “Fuck You! I Want To Fuck You!“ as loud as possible (Shirley this rivals Limp Bizkit’s “Hot Dog‘?) Whilst “Sex In Your Mouth‘ encourages us to praise “Johnny” as much as, ahem; possible. It should be noted that vocalist Marty Leppard has an incredible stage presence (his enthusiasm for performing gives nods towards Matt Caughthran from LA bruisers, The Bronx). When he’s not trying to hump his band mates, the mic-tech guy, various parts of the stage, he dives into the audience in an effort to violate anyone and everyone around him.

Set highlights include a wonderfully scrambled version of “I Hate Our Freedom‘ as well as a totally barbaric run through of “Fucking Isn’t Cheating‘, which sends the assembled Johnn-fanboys at the front into a tornado of frenzied excitement. Gang-chants of “IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD!” unite everyone as a powerful force of anger, love and pain. The scuzz-hardcore rage of “Kill The Cool Kids‘ ends the agonizingly short set in total chaos, with yours truly laying on top of the aforementioned singer screaming the words back at him. No encores (“we haven’t got anymore songs!“ – Leppard) but that’s not important; what is, is that Gay For Johnny Depp are one of the most exciting, hilarious and entertaining bands I have ever seen. Proper balls-in-your-mouth rock action.

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Links

Gay For Myspace
Official Site
Label

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By Ross Macdonald

Posted: February 5th, 2008 in Frenzied live gigs, Reviews.
Comments: 1

The free CDs that come with magazines such as Rock Sound, Metal Hammer, Kerrang! Etc are usually very hit and miss. Thankfully, I’ve scored more home runs than own goals (this makes no sense) with them, although they aren’t all without their faults. For example, Kerrang! Make the obvious faux pas in constantly rotating the same 15 bands on every CD they give away (Aiden, Bullet For My Valentine, My Chemical Romance, etc.) and always include the most predictable and obvious tracks. I remember this “punk’ compilation they gave away once – it made me want to take a hammer to the face of whoever compiled that piece of un-imaginable shite.

Metal Hammer sometimes hit the mark, but with the plethora of black metal that exists out there, it soon blends into one meaningless dirge of who can wank a guitar off quicker, whilst someone tries to vomit up his pancreas and gargle battery acid at the same time.

The Rock Sound CDs do the most justice really, being a more all-round magazine, they would – not content to pigeonhole its audience with “kiddie-metal’ (Kerrang!) or repetitive dirge (Metal Hammer) it encompasses a wide array of bands like the wings of a roc (a giant, mythical bird for those of you saying ‘wuuuh?’).

Therefore, this new feature will examine my findings from this month’s Sound Check CD. Read on…

Madina Lake – Again and Again

For the love of Christ, a foul ball straight away. Lowest common denominator pop rock that becomes the new definition to the words “this is fucking appalling.’

New Found Glory – The Promise

Dashboard frontman Chris Carrabba joins NFG on this offering, but you can barely tell. A pop-punk cover of “The Promise‘ featured at the end of ‘nothing happens for 90 minutes’ movie, Napoleon Dynamite. Proof that the original should not be tampered with.

Tombs – Hallways of the Always

The vocals (which are reminiscent of someone being murdered) are somewhat lost beneath the layers of rippling sound, but this is a groovy-slab of metal and the best track so far.

Blacktusk – End of Days

10 points for the name and song title alone. Duelling vocals in the form of harsh throaty roars and high screams, backed by colossal riffage and low-end bass howls – stunning.

Bison – Wartime

Black Flag- inspired hardcore rock and roll that seems to have an air of Fu Manchu about it and the party nature of Municipal Waste. Great fast-slow dynamics and gang-chant vocals in the song’s breakdown.

Black Mountain – Stormy High

A wailing choir, backing some nice competent rock, that morphs into floatly keyboard atmospherics and warm, rich vocals – think Neil Young, but a bit heavier (no, not in weight.)

Foxy Shazam! - Red Cape Diver

Innuendo? Probably. Piano-led rock bonkers from Foxy Shazam – boisterous in some places and pretty average in others compared to the stuff on their debut, but still miles better than Madina sodding Lake.

Stolen Babies – Awful Fall

Fellow KIF writer Jason will probably love Stolen Babies; their quirky, electronic-Dresden Dolls metal is right up his street, even on the wailing out of control bit at the end. However, it left me cold and frankly bored to tears.

God Fires Man – Dark

Sounding similar to his former band Instruction, Arty Shephard’s mob deliver a fine slice of passionate, gritty rock that shows his serious and spiteful side still exists. Promising stuff from a band who are half of hardcore-homos, Gay For Johnny Depp!

The Don Ramos Players – All Cats Are Grey

Ex-TwoFold and Howard’s Alias men form Don Ramos, coming across as a more powerful and anthemic Hot Water Music. Fast, noisy and throaty punk rock – just what the UK scene needs! My cat wasn’t grey though, he was brown with black bits.

Shipwreck A.D. – Ascent

Bridge 9 sounding hardcore that literally does nothing for me. Whilst it contains many competent areas traditionally associated with this genre, it falls flatter than a witch’s tit.

Charlottefield – Snakes

Charlottefield obviously went to the Jehu school of guitar-twiddling as exhibited on ‘Snakes.’ Lurching, post-punk fury that delights and surprises the listener. Recommended.

My Ruin - Ready For Blood

Dreadful vocals – I’m sorry but this is barely listenable. It’s like one of those really 5th rate metal bands you hear in pubs that do Pantera covers for half their set and claim to be ‘really unique.’ Urgh. Nice guitar solo though.

Lavotchkin – Cholera

Superbly pissed-off noise merchants Lavotchkin tear through 83 seconds or pure rage without stopping for breath. Essential, if you dig Converge, Johnny Truant, being killed in alleyways.

Volition – Do What Thou Wilt

High-end shrieks that meld with gargling burps, backed up by plodding backwards sounding math-metal ends this Sound Check CD in a less than positive light. One for the serial killers!

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Links

(See throughout the article, I’m not writing them out again.)

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By Ross Macdonald

Posted: January 28th, 2008 in Features, Reviews, Rock Sound.
Comments: 2

I’ll keep this brief, as I’m known to prattle on a bit. It’s been an interesting year for music. Utterly amazing in places, steaming piles of festering cow shit in others. I think it’s like that every year though, swings and roundabouts, eh? Anyway, here are our highlights (a lot of them) and my low points (not so much) of 2007 in the musical world. Enjoy…

Top 5 Albums of 2007

5. Hopesfall -Magnetic North (Trustkill Records)

Their best work to date – Hopesfall pull out the stops with their anvil-heavy choruses and off-kilter space rock posturing. A powerful and surprising return.

4. *shels – Laurentian’s Atoll (shellsmusic)

Catastrophic noise-rock, melded with flashes of instrumental mind-twisting debauchery and throat-shredding screams from ex-Mahumodo vocalist Mendhi – incredible.

3. – Dillinger-escape-plan – Ire Works (Relapse)

Technical jazz metal, with glitchy electro breaks and haunting atmospherics, whilst vocalist Greg Puciato does his best to sound like a rabid dog. It will tear your face off. (Review)

2. Future of the Left – Curses! (Too Pure)

Dirty bass-filled punk rock meets intelligent and highly witty lyrical content. With Andy Falkous’s withering sarcasm strewn throughout, ‘Curses’ was a surprising delight for the die-hard Mclusky fan I have resting inside me. (Review)

1. Jetplane Landing – Backlash Cop (Smalltown America)

Fugazi-esque rock with elements of rap, electronica and punk, as well as references to 60’s black arts movement, Dizzy Gillespie and Les Savy Fav, the Irish 4 piece return in blistering form. (Review)

(Notable praise towards the following bands and the albums they released this year: Baroness, Pig Destroyer, Les Savy Fav, Cutting Pink With Knives, Yakuza, Gay For Johnny Depp.)
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Top 6 Gigs of 2007 (yes so good there is a 6!)

6. The Blood Brothers- ULU (3rd July)

Fuzzy sound quality in places, but the energy the Seattle 5 piece had was incredible. Moreover, they played ‘The Shame’ – says it all really. Epic. Also, the fact that we met Johnny at the end added points before we were crashed by screaming girls… (Review)

5. Angelspit – electrowerkz (17th October)

Throwing shapes with glow sticks like my life depended on it with Australians cyber punks finest! Never have I enjoyed such a repetitive dance thump in the back of my mind! Extra points for pure theremin talent but again poor sound quality at some parts. (Review)

4. Polysics – The Spitz (12th June)

One of the hottest and most tiring gigs I have ever been to. Chaotic synth punk/j-pop from Japan’s Polysics meant I couldn’t stop grinning for weeks. A cover of ‘My Sharona’ was a true hit that practically melted the venue to a pulp due to the frantic dancing from everyone! (Review)

3. Down I Go – Every time I’ve seen them.

The UK’s only Dinocore/Disastercore/Robotcore and now Tyrantcore mob are an exciting, vicious and stupidly entertaining live act. Onstage banter, history lessons, dinosaur advice and songs about Turkmenbashi cannot be beaten. (Review)

2. The Bronx – Astoria (Kerrang! Tour 27th January)

The Bronx remain to this day, one of the loudest punk bands I have ever seen. Matt Caughthran is a born entertainer; even a supposed broken ankle didn’t stop him jumping in the pit during ‘They Will Kill Us All.’ Brutal.

1. Brand New – Hammersmith Apollo (13th February)

The most emotional gig I’ve ever been to. Brand New pulled at my heart strings for over 2 hours and the sight of everyone singing along around me made it the perfect gig experience. Gig of the year, no question.

(Notable live highlights include: Rolo Tomassi, Cutting Pink With Knives, An Emergency, Meet Me In St. Louis, Tim Ten Yen, Adebisi Shank, A Scholar and A Physician, nervous_testpilot, MC Lars, The Locust.)

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Top 5 accounts that made us smile

5. The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster crawling from the ashes with a new ep

Just as you were thinking the only way you was going to get any kind of similar ‘b-line’ material was from The Horrors (am I actually saying this?) the 5 piece Psychosis Rock band unhinge their ghoulish tunes in a form of a breath taking EP ‘in the garden’. With 4 new studio tracks and a “Live In The Arena Of The Unwell” cd (including 9 of the 10 tracks not on a shop cd before) it shows that the Brighton band are not buried yet.

4. Rocket from the Crypt bringing a bundle of plastic joy!

Not only is the Californian deceased band (*sniff*) finally releasing a dvd/cd pack of all the tracks they played on their last gig, BUT they are releasing another all systems go!!!! How can these guys keep finding b-sides?!?! This way we can pretend that they are still going!

3. Truckfest Disco Shed

Dancing to ‘Young Folks’ by Peter, Bjorn and John, whilst trying not to drop my warm can of lager and trying to request motown/indie anthems was a particular highlight of my only festival experience this year. A classic night.

2. ArnoCorps returning to the UK

GOOOO!!!!!!!! Hardcore action-adventure rock-n-rollers, ArnoCorps (pronounced ‘Arnocore’) have promised to return to our delightful country for a summer tour in 2008! What are you waiting for? Get watching Predator/Running Man/Terminator etc., put on that camo-warpaint and prepare to be a goddamn hero!

1. Speedo returning!!!!!

This is in fact the ground breaking news for the world this year! After watching him perform in London’s last ever Hot Snakes performance it was a true milestone. Not only has his endless tracks from a number of bands been a real benchmark for our generation but live he sounded even better! Keep it fast were lucky enough to speak to him on two occasions, but when asked about the future of RFTC he didn’t want to say a lot. This doesn’t matter now as he is back with a new album in March and talk of a tour! rather then repeating ourselves why not click on these links (here and here) for further details!

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Low point news – Not going to describe these as the title says it all:

The Locust team have their van broken into, with all their gear, passwords, computers etc taken .

Fopp suddenly shuts downs all over Britain.

Some Girls are laid to rest.

Blood Brothers call it a day after 10 years.

Meet Me In St. Louis part ways with vocalist Toby.

Fickle Public split after only 1 album.

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Stay tuned for my tips for 2008: some surprises guaranteed!

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By Ross Macdonald and Jason Kahl

Posted: December 21st, 2007 in Features, News, mp3's.
Comments: none

There are so many horrid stories out there where top quality underground bands try so hard to make it big and end up:

1) Working in Farmfoods
2) Taking their creative side to a new low by inventing things that involve bread in their dad’s shed
3) Becoming a Fred Durst tribute act.

All of these things are truly shocking- well, disgusting really! What is worse is bands such as My Chemical Romance get snapped up when others such as New York hardcore Rockers Gay for Johnny Depp can’t get a American record deal!

Anyway, enough of me blabbering on as there is hope for everybody out there trying to make it big! This comes in the form of band for the day.

Sound interesting? Well Keep It Fast interviewed the BFTD team to find out how it all works and most important, how bands can get money and a record deal:

1) How would you describe ‘Band for the Day’ to the ever rushing musicians in todays world?

BFTD is a new way for unsigned musicians to get their music to the public. In a sentence, BFTD is a totally free site that lets you make money from your music, get noticed and win some great prizes, including a Recording Contract. BFTD is all about voting – bands gets votes by people texting in a vote, buying their track with their mobile or pc and by the number of times their track is listened to. Every 24 hours the band with the most votes becomes Band For the Day, the stats are reset and the process begins again.

BFTD was set up by two full time musicians who realised that the internet was meant to give bands the chance to be heard by everyone, what has actually happened is that every band is fighting against each other, trying to stand out in some way against the white noise that the internet has become. BFTD is a very focused site. It places all bands on a level footing and lets the bands that want to succeed stand out.

2) What was your current status when you first came up with the idea?

We hit upon the idea about a year ago. We are both Jazz Musicians so it started off as an idea to put something together for Jazz Music in Scotland. The more we talked about the idea the more we realised we wanted to do something bigger than that. We spent a long time getting everything right, making sure the company was formed correctly, ensuring we had the proper contracts drawn up, doing lots of market research and testing, trademarking the name and making sure we had a unique and thoroughly thought through project before we got where we are today.

3) What bands have appeared since you started the website? Any that make you glad that your site is up?

The growth of the site has overwhelmed us. We weren’t sure how quickly people would catch on to the idea of the site but it would appear that there are a lot of sharp-thinking bands out there that know a good opportunity when they see it. I’ve been really impressed with the quality of the bands that have signed up so far. I really like Sona Cocoon, The Utopians and Darklight but I’d have to say the standout band so far is Jakil. Amazingly they’ve already entered the Hall Of Fame, which is where bands go when they’ve won BFTD 3 times, and it look like they are well on their way to entering it again. They’ve really embraced the idea and have driven people to their page and got people to text in votes for them. They’ve done really well and deserve all the success they have had so far, which is exactly what the site is all about.

4) If such a person as David Hasselhoff went on your site as new name of say “Mekkah Golden Hoff’s Deluxe” would he still apply to be ‘Band for the Day’?

I would welcome David on board, though as he is a signed artist the site isn’t really for him. It is a shame that such classics as “Do the Limbo Dance’ will have to remain off the site for the time being.

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Sounds like you cannot lose, so check them out by clicking here. Enjoy but please remember the Hoff sadly will not be there…

Posted: December 10th, 2007 in Features, News.
Comments: none

Band – Gay For Johnny Depp
Album – The Politics Of Cruelty
Label – Captains of Industry
Release date – November 2007
Sounds like – 4 guys obsessed with some actor who likes to dress as a pirate.

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Apparently, no American label will put out Gay For Johnny Depp’s debut, ‘The Politics of Cruelty.’ Even though they like the band’s music, their very name has put the money-grabbing macho-bastards on hold in investing in the band – what a load of complete cockbags. Oh well, their loss really; thank god Captains of Industry don’t give two fucks about the groups camp-sounding moniker.

After hearing their second ep, ‘Blood: The Natural Lubricant‘ I thought “ok, maybe GFJD will have mellowed a bit, you know, changed direction, maybe made way for a bit more experimentation (hopefully not prog)” Well, I was about as wrong as a big sign that says ‘WRONG’ in bright red flashling 3D letters, which launches explosive barrels of fire that spell out ‘INCORRECT SUCKA!‘ for the whole world to see.

The wondefully titled ‘Cumpassion‘ opens proceedings and already you can feel the razor-like slice of Marty Leppard’s voice, as he cuts deep wounds in your ear canal with his almost sandpaper-meets-broken glass rasp. “Oh compassion, it’s just my passion all over your face” he hollers. Hmm….nice. Guitarist Sid Jagger manages to distort his instrument beyond the recommended safe-listening barrier, creating a slavo of screeching riffs to accompany Fabrizio Coxboi’s rumbling bass and JJ Samanen’s incongruous drumming.

‘You Have A Theory, I Have A Gun‘ is a blantant anti-war song, indicating the futility of the war effort and the pointless waste of human life. It’s all summed up in the 5th line, with vocalist Leppard screeching “when you go, you’ll never come back, never come back…”

‘Lights Out‘ follows this with it’s jagged rock meets bizarre pop stance, as Leppard tries (and fails) to refrain from sounding like he’s rubbed a cheese grater on his voice box. This brings me to a point about the vocals, which are really unsettling. It sounds a bit like the girl from the exorcist chewing on a mouthful of wasps, whilst now-defunct noise terrors, Chariots play at twice their normal speed through a battered microphone.

I won’t go through it all, but as you can expect the rest of this ‘blink-and-you’ll-miss-it’ album features more of the same. The instrumentation is a relentless, caustic attack on the mind; it actually blurs boundaries between the genres of punk rock and noise rock in such a savage way. The lyrics, as you can guess reference that man who played the wimpy Ichabod Crane, as well as heaps of sexual inneundo and implications of fornication with the actor. ‘Very Little Happens Between 3 and 4 In The Morning’ is a good example of the band’s brilliant homoerotic lyrical content (and one in which they ‘out’ a certain member of KISS!)

By the time the warped and slightly perplexing closing track, ‘I hate our Freedom (Fuck You, Gladys, I’m on Vacation)‘ finishes you’re left feeling completed drained, sweaty, horribly violated and wondering what the hell has just happened.

Overall thoughts? It’s not as immediate as the ‘Blood: The Natural Lubricant‘ EP and some of the tracks lack the addictive quality of their older songs, but this is probably down to plain old unfamiliarity with new material that will soon wear off with repeated listens (although I’m still unsure about the ‘filler tracks’ which seem slightly pointless.) To avoid any pointless fence sitting, I’ll say this: I like ‘The Politics of Cruelty‘, it’s a great album, full of intense, abrasive, psychotic songs that well and truly mess with your mind and make you doubt your own sanity. Recommended to fans of The Locust, The Blood Brothers and Tim Burton films. I’m off now to listen to something a bit more manly – got any Queen?

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Sounds

To listen to ‘Lights Out!’ by Gay For Johnny Depp, click on the player below.

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Links

Gay For Johnny Depp
Gay for Myspace
Label

Posted: December 6th, 2007 in Reviews, mp3's.
Comments: 1

In Mad Mac’s absence (direct quote from the man: “I’m never, ever listening to music ever again“) I’m taking over the mantle (for this month) and giving you, the Keep It Fast readers, the low-down on some of the new singles in the rock world. In the words of Marcus Fenix from Gears of War, LET’S DO THIS!

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Hundred Reasons – No Way Back (V2)

Grey, faceless, emotionally vapid and about as interesting as listening to a party political conference talk by the Lib Dems; Hundred Reasons limp back on to the scene with this rather unimpressive new single. Taken from their fourth album, ‘Quick the Word, Sharp the Action’ (which possibly has the worst artwork ever, worse than any of these) everything that made them interesting on their early EPs and even on their debut is lost beneath this tired and lethargic return. Even the band sound incredibly bored (especially vocalist Colin, who seems to lack his usual enthusiastic and spirited singing voice), despite the quite care-free and pleasant nature of this track. Let’s hope that the rest of the album is a step up from this. Plodding post-hardcore rock by numbers.

(Track available for free download from V2 website or from iTunes as download single of the week.)

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Los Campesinos! – The International Tweecore Underground (Wichita)

This may be surprising, but this is the first time I’ve heard a Los Campesinos! song. Yeah, yeah I know “where the fuck have I been?” I’ll admit it, I feel a bit of twit. This welsh 7 piece are seriously entertaining. Imagine a faster, less squeaky sounding Bearsuit with a chorus that gets lodged in the brain, as the dueling boy/girl vocals try desperately to out do each other in some bizarre indie kid argument. Absolutely fantastic, a magical listening experience. Smart, attention grabbing pop music.

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Jimmy Eat World – Big Casino (Interscope)

Straight outta emo-ville, Jimmy Eat World bounces back on to the scene with ‘Big Casino‘, the first single from their new album, ‘Chase This Light.’ Like all JEW releases, it’s a warm sounding, guitar-heavy blast of uplifting anthemic rock. Imagine the louder moments of ‘Bleed American‘-era Jimmy with the soft harmonies of the ‘Futures‘ album. ‘Big Casino‘ slots somewhere in the middle as valuable arsenal to JEW’s impressive singles collection.

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Funeral For A Friend – The Great Wide Open (Atlantic Records)

Copping out a bit eh? At least 3 mainstream-ish bands in this round up? Yeah I know, whatever. Ah it’s the Welsh darlings, Funeral For A Friend. Whereas Jimmy Eat World make this kind of ‘College rock’ interesting and relevant, the boys from Bridgend make it seem about as interesting as working for a pipe-bursting company (I should know.) I realise that the band have changed their style from the noisy hardcore sounds of their debut and their Eps, but this smacks so much of radio-friendly bollocks it’s practically unbearable. All this from a band I used to hold in such high regard as well – disappointing. I guess we’re moving in different directions now.

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Gay For Johnny Depp – You Have A Theory, I Have A Gun (Captains of Industry)

Admit it – who isn’t Gay For Johnny Depp, eh? Homo-erotic hardcore splatter hits the fan as everyone’s favourite New York punkers explode back on to the scene. Spazzcore shrieks from vocalist Marty Leopard, tight-as-fuck guitars and a disgustingly erosive rhythm section, GFJD pulverise their sound into your ass. Redefining the hardcore sound has never sounded so sexy.

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3 Inches of Blood – Trial of Champions (Roadrunner)

Metal-tastic sextet 3 Inches of Blood are here to save the lives of down-trodded Games Workshop geeks once and for all! ‘Trial of Champions‘, an exclusive EP release from their new album, ‘Fire Up The Blades‘ is Judas Priest-meets-Warhammer with more screams than the fires of hell. Whether it’s my speakers playing tricks, but at one point the guitars sound almost like keyboards; only adding to the over-the-top metal attack of duel vocalists Cam Pipes (yes, really) and Jamie Hooper. One squeals like a burns victim, the other growls like a wounded beast, which is all completed by a rather ridiculously good guitar solo at the halfway point. Amazing.

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Links

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Hundred Reasons new album ‘Quick the Word, Sharp the Action‘ is out now on V2 Records. Video for single can be seen here.

Los Campesinos! artist page on Wichita can be found here.

Jimmy Eat World’s new album ‘Chase This Light‘ is out now and can be found here.

Funeral For A Friend’s ‘Great Wide Open‘ EP can be bought through their official site.

Gay For Johnny Depp’s new album ‘The Politics of Cruelty‘ can be pre-ordered from the Captains of Industry website.

3 Inches of Blood’s ‘The Trail of Champions‘ EP is out now and can be bought here.

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By Ross Macdonald

Posted: October 23rd, 2007 in Reviews.
Comments: 1