As stated in a previous post, I was trying to think of somewhere I could send my dad for a live review and it just so happens the wonders of Peterborough beer festival had the answer. Featuring several of his favourite things - ground hops in a liquid format, pub games, ‘crumpet’ and Oliver Reed t-shirts (okay not that), why not let the master brewer review some of the bands? So off he went to sit on a stolen chair, in the middle of the entertainment marquee, with the back of the festival programme to scribble on and half of mild.

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Bands - King Kool, Plastic Soup
Venue - Peterborough Beer Festival
Cost - Fiver
Date - 23rd August
Beer - loads

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The rather crowded stage was set halfway down the long side of a very large marquee. The audience of about sixty people were aimlessly scattered on the large grassed area in front of the stage, with enough open space to park several full grown blue whales.

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King Kool

This was a duo made up of Dan Donovan and Joe Mason. The blurb in the program describes them as quote: “Kicking breed of art garage rock” - whatever that means. The singer was dressed in black reminiscent of Johnny Cash. Unfortunately, that was where the resemblance ended. I endured three songs as the vocalist seemed to be in competition with the drummer in a ‘who can be the loudest’ match. I could not determine any distinguishable words as Joe, the exuberant gum-chewing drummer, drowned them out. The singer to show his virtuosity played a harmonica and short solo on the guitar when the drummer took a breather. The patrons were offered CDs at £7 each. Amazingly none of the paying public rushed to buy a copy. To me, the overall sound was akin to being interned in a forty-gallon drum with several bricks and rolled downhill.

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Plastic Soup

Comprised of four exuberant performers, this group enthusiastically belted out three numbers with the volume and musicality of a jet engine. The lead vocalist wore trousers that appeared to be made from the skins of four Dalmatians. The first number seemed to be called ‘Plastic Soup’, with the singer who appeared to have watched a Mick Jagger video, attempting to copy some rocking moves. The rest of the numbers were a cacophony of sound that assaulted your ears harder than a bailiff banging on a door on rent day. They left much to the imagination as to what the lyrics were about, as the vocals blended into a wall of noise. The low frequency bass made your teeth vibrate enough to give white finger to your lips. (I don’t get this at all – Ross.)

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Links

King Kool
Plastic Soup

Peterborough Beer Festival

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Intro - Ross
Words - Mad Mac

One dark and chilly night when Mr Tim Burton was suffering a high fever and weak at the knees, he clambered into his crushed black velvet sheets hoping for a dream-filled night of marshmallows and furry things….. But as the night drew colder, a hungry Incubus with a taste for ‘The Dresden Dolls’ albums took advantage of poor old Burton. All was not lost that night however, as Portsmouth’s answer to everything sinister was born…. Mister Joe Black.

His sound is like an old lady, covered in Disney-endorsed syrup, in a mobility chair charging backwards, on fire, heading towards a Victorian style Pillow factory.

With his first full length album ‘The Bible Of The Waltzing Cynic’ he picks your brains to find all those little things you were scared as a child and bring them back into reality. From the Scarecrow in the moonlight at the end of the road, to that time you shit your pants at McDonalds, he knows all.

With a nice list of tour dates a head of him and even a nod from the likes of Creature Feature he is not doing half bad.

Keep it fast had a chat with Joe Black about preachers and arse tattoos:

Do you ever get different reactions when performing on the street than on stage?

People seem a lot less shocked on the street surprisingly. They don’t seem to mind their children hearing….

What is the most bizarre thing somebody has said to you after a show?

“Sign my arse; I want your signature tattooed there!”

If Fred Durst ever tried to make a comeback (again) and wanted to use one of your tracks for his background beat, would you be interested?

The Limp Bizkit paedo man? Of course I’d let him. There would be no greater honour, except being Patrick Moore’s bitch- that would be pretty good.

Have you any thoughts on ‘expanding’ your music to use other instruments over time, or would this be betraying the Joe Black genre?

The album uses around 15 instruments on average per track. That can’t be done live, but we make up for it. I’ve recently expanded the live show to around 4 people, but it varies.

If a megaphone-wielding preacher implied that your music was from the belly of Satan and you should cease instantly, what would your reply be?

Yes indeed it is, and we know where you live, we know where your brother lives, we know where your sisters live, we know where your mother lives, we know where your father lives, we know where your brain washed adopted children live, and we are not happy my dear sir. Now make amends for this comment, or I shall strike you down like a clubbed seal!

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Below is a video that captures the mind of Mister Joe black entitled ‘Child Catcher‘

Get the Flash Player to see the wordTube Media Player.

If you want to hear more simply go onto his myspace here.

After a brief stint away from the writer’s desk, Mad Mac returns to the fold to pen more words of wisdom on the current ‘hot’ acts that are trawling the musical airwaves. After the slamming he gave (The) Foals last time, how will indie-darlings Johnny Foreigner go down? Let’s see…

(If you want your band/song/face reviewed by Mad Mac, drop us a line to the usual e-mail address or why not try the ‘Ask Mad Mac’ button at the top of the page.)

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The Hold Steady - Sequestered in Memphis

During this very long intro I was begining to loose the will to live, in fact I was not sure I would live long enough to hear it finish. But finish it did. I felt the vocalist lost his way wondering around the Southern States. With enough listens I think this one would grow on you, but then so can ringworm.

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Me First and the Gimme Gimmes - The Boxer

Puts me in mind of the Sex Pistols trying to annoy by murdering a well known classic. Remakes can be risky and can be rubbish if the rendition does not work - it does not work. Pity.

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Jay Reatard - See/Saw

Very hard on the drums (ear drums). I feel the drummer brought his own drum kit along and they had to let him play, even though it tried to drown out the vocalist (if only.) The lyrics very samey all I could understand was “she freaks me out” repeatedly, a bit how I felt at the end.

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She & Him - I Was Made For You

High school musical type tune, I felt it tried to remind me of “Grease” - it didn’t. The girl tried her best, hope she is good looking and they have better material than this. (She is and I perhaps should have picked a better song, faux pas on my part - Ross)

Johnny Foreigner - Salt, Pepper and Spinderella

Bad sounding percussion. Reminds me of banging your head against a metal locker at school. The ending cannot start too soon, or be too short, unfortunately is does go on a bit to make the track seem longer, it succeeds.

Pulled Apart By Horses - The Lighthouse

Pulled apart by horses? It felt like it! The end would be a blessed relief, which is exactly what it was. The finish was a bit abrupt it does seem that the “Music Appreciation Society” or the “Noise Abatement Society” had got to the mains power. My life was not enriched by this listening experience.

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Nice. If anyone has any ideas for gigs to send Mad Mac to, post your comment below or drop us an e-mail. Preferably somewhere he can sit down if need be and one that won’t cost me an arm-and-a-leg in ticket price/travel/beer.

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Links

‘Stay Positive’ by The Hold Steady is out now through Rough Trade.

‘Have Another Ball’ by Me First and the Gimme Gimmes is available from the Fat Wreck Chords site. You can also download an MP3 of ‘The Boxer‘ as well.

Jay Reatard stuff can be bought from the Matador Records site, including the singles comp that ‘See/Saw’ comes from.

‘Volume 1′ by She & Him is out now on the Merge Records site.

‘Waiting Up Til It Was Light’ by Johnny Foreigner is out now on Best Before Records, but the site seems confusing, so try Amazon if you want to get it.

Pulled Apart By Horses have all their songs available for free download from their website, check it out.

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Intro - Ross
Words - Mad Mac

Band – Scream! Shout! Say Nothing
Album – The Animals Still Run This City
Label – Scylla Records
Release – 01/09/2008
Sounds like – Screaming! Shouting!

Hertfordshire’s Scream! Shout! Say Nothing are certainly making a name for themselves on the underground circuit. Having toured with Star Wars-types Bossk, the over-hyped Enter Shirkari and the sadly missed Cutting Pink With Knives, they’ve finally got round to releasing their debut album, ‘The Animals Still Run This City.’ After witnessing their impressive set at Club 85 several months ago, I was intrigued by the prospect of hearing their recorded output. Let’s take a look…

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I know from previous articles I have bitched at length at how bored I am of music with generic scream/sung vocals and how it’s about as interesting as watching all 800 of my dad’s holiday slides whilst consuming gallons of grey paint, but I genuinely find Scream! Shout! Say Nothing’s brand of passionate hardcore a breath of fresh air. For one thing, they know how to write a song, mixing the kind of intricate guitar work of Meet Me In St. Louis & Secondsmile with the steady driving rhythms of Latterman and their own unique brand of headstrong vigour.

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Opening track ‘When It All Goes Dark, The Animals Still Run This City’ immediately earns itself the Keep It Fast seal of approval. The volatile opening of rapid fire drums, rattling-punk guitars and Ben Davies’s hast-filled vocal attack are a short sharp shock to the system. It bolts from my speakers like an over zealous greyhound, eager to sink its teeth into the robotic hare that always stays a few steps ahead. The soaring chorus gives a gigantic nod towards the heavy rock of Hell Is For Heroes, whilst the utterly fantastic gang-vocal chant of “hey heart beats, don’t fail me!” bring to mind the angst-ridden rampage of Hopesfall’s ‘Waitress.’ This is the kind of enthusiastic and majestic post-hardcore that will pump new life into the dead veins of the UK scene - a fantastic start.

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To prove that they haven’t put all their eggs in one basket, the 5 piece hit back with a storming 2nd track in the form of ‘Fulfil The Roles Boys…Fulfil The Roles’, which despite it’s sombre introduction, complimented by soft saxophone overtones and slow-burning build up, proves to be one of the most progressive and spirited sounding pieces on the album. The main body of the track pulsates with such crushing rage; the guitars grinding new furrows of unsettling menace within the listener, whilst the vocal yelp gives a nod towards the anger and tension associated with Poison The Well.

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The 11 minute chug of ‘Einstein I Ain’t‘ dips up and down more times than a fat man and a midget on a see-saw, changing from a crushing and I mean, crushing metallic attack, to an almost ambient, unrehearsed instrumental arrangement. This is also the only time when the vocals sound slightly off, which is one of the very few criticisms I have about this album.
‘The River’ is a stark, biting track, with the lyric “say what you like about us, just keep your opinions to yourself” screamed as though personally attacking the listener, whilst the caustic rumble of guitars, bass and drums drills new seeds of desperation and rage.

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The last track, ‘Gimme Inner Peace Or I’ll Mop The Floor With Ya’ keeps up S!S!SN brand of resolute dedication to creating powerful and honest music. The punishing tirade of sound is tempered only by the inclusion of a melodic saxophone, trumpet and Euphonium interlude that should feel out-of-place, but oddly slots in rather nicely. The last minute is then consumed by sound as the rest of the band crash in; complete with a gorgeous vocal chant that absolutely floors me.

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In conclusion? I wish there was more to be honest. At 5 tracks, this album feels slightly short, but at a running time of 35 minutes I can see their decision in sticking to this modest number. It’s over far too quickly, but that just means you get to hit the ‘play’ button again which is never a bad thing. One of the best UK releases I’ve heard this year, a terrific slice of sincere, intense rock music – great work guys.

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Links

Scream! Shout! Say Myspace!
Official Site
Label

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By Ross Macdonald

Hi! No sarcastic introduction this time or any cover-star baiting. Just some honest reviews and an mp3 of the best track off the compilation. Nice.

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Soulfly – Unleash

The one thing about a Max Cavalera band is that you pretty much know exactly what it sounds like even before you listen to the opening bars. Mixing the right elements of Soulfly’s typically abrasive thrash metal with some interesting world-music influenced breaks and a squealing guitar - business as usual for the Brazilian mob.

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Alesana – This is Usually The Part Where People Scream

Well it’s happened; I’m officially bored to tears by screaming in music. Thanks, Alesana; you’re boisterous, but woefully hackneyed take on the genre is doing nothing for me. In fact, I’ve had to turn this down, for fear that anyone who witnesses me listening to this tripe will think that I’m some pre-pubescent bed-wetter who likes music with all the depth and charm of a turd sandwich.

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We Are The Ocean – Don’t Be Careless

Take note: this is how you do it. London’s We Are The Ocean know how to sucker in the kids, playing the kind of scream/sung melodic hardcore that welsh-boys Funeral For A Friend used to peddle. The vocals give a strong nod towards Dallas Green of Alexisonfire with equal gusto and vitality. Promising.

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Harvey Milk – Barn Burner

I’m not sure whether all Harvey Milk songs sound like this, but I pray to god they do. At just over 2 minutes in length ‘Barn Burner’ is a rampant rock ‘n’ roll facepunch of dirty, fuzzed out riffs and machine gun drumming. This chews up the airwaves like fat man let loose in a chocolate factory. Absolutely brilliant, one to crash your car to.

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Capricorns – Seventh Child Of A Seventh Child

Instrumental band Capricorns say a lot with their music. Some would consider this difficult for a band without a singer, but when you’re making this kind of pulverising racket, who needs some weedy little fart shouting into a microphone? Not these guys. With the kind of drummer you’d kill one of your own friends to have, this doom-laden approach to metal is hard to beat.

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Mouth Of The Architect – Rocking Chairs and Shotguns

Mouth of the Architect are one of those bands that relies on huge passages of winding sound, interspersed with the kind of vocal roars you would normally associate with various wounded animals or enormous men with beards. Come for the dread, stay to be ground down into a fine powder by this Ohio noise-brigade.

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Apse – From The North

Not really sure what to make of this. It kind of washes over you like a really cleansing shower, but doesn’t really go anywhere. Sure, there are some nice moments, if sweeping passages of the same note tickle your fancy. Ultimately though, it’s pretty dull. I’m sure live, it’s equally as un-enthralling, but I could be completely wrong of course.

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Rinoa – Atlantis

This is a bit like listening to Poison the Well covering Deftones songs, with a dash of Hopesfall in the mix. Impassioned screams, complimented by strong instrumental passages and the kind of rough and ready sound that you’d associate with a plethora of underground European hardcore stalwarts. Seriously good work guys, one’s to keep an eye on.

Racebannon – Awaken

This one time, I heard two cats fighting to the death outside my window. Suffice to say, it sounded better than the fuck-awful racket Racebannon class as music.

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Disarm – The River City Ransom Death Pact

I’m a massive sucker for really fast-paced punk rock, so it comes as no surprise that Disarm’s brand of riffs o’ plenty appeals in bucket loads. It’s all there, the “woaaahhh yeahs” the snarling vocals, crashing drums and driving guitar lines. Formulaic as an excel spreadsheet, but oddly pleasing.

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Calabrese – Voices Of The Dead

A horror-rock band without a stand up bass? Shirley not! Calabrese are 3 brothers who all look like they stepped off the set of Greased meets The Krays. Whilst some kinds of horror punk can be pretty hit and miss, this is surprisingly pleasant with a huge chorus and buckets of potential.

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Withered – Dichotomy Of Exile

Someone’s been listening to ‘Blood Mountain’ too much! Oh yeah, that’s me. Also, it seems American metallers, Withered have been spinning one or two Mastadon albums as the riffs on ‘Dichotomy Of Exile’ sound even more beefier and heavier. It then all goes a bit black metal then, which doesn’t interest me in the slightest and the “yappy the back flipping dog” vocals are complete pony until the throaty roars kick in. Bit of an odd one.

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Fellsilent – Immerse

For the fanatical metal fan in us all, this will probably appeal in truckloads. In this case, it does very little except irritate and sound woefully run of the mill. Okay, so it has the detuned guitar shriek and the scream/sung vocals aren’t too bad, but it’s all a bit ‘what’s the point?’ Fellsilent? If only.

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The Psyke Project – Poems Written By Kings

Apparently their drummer wants to nob Madonna. Yikes. Maybe he can win her over with his drumming, which is nothing short of terrific on this track, all double-bass pedals and inhuman stick work - lovely. The rest of it is pretty good as well, coming across a bit like doomed-hardcore heroes Cursed if they decided to extend their sound with even more foreboding.

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Vessels – Look At That Cloud!

Instrumental five-piece Vessels hail from Leeds, so no wonder they sound a bit down in the mouth! Just kidding. I really don’t know what to say about this, other than it draws to mind the kind of extensive ‘build ‘em up, knock ‘em down’ approach to sans-vocal rock that This Will Destroy You have, with the closing eruption of sound at the 6.30 mark spewing forth a wonderful crushing conclusion.

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Sounds

Click on the player to listen to ‘Barn Burner’ by super-fast noise bastards, Harvey Milk.

Get the Flash Player to see the wordTube Media Player.

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Links

See above for band myspace links. Harvey Milk’s album ‘Life…The Best Game In Town’ can be bought from Relapse Records here.

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By Ross Macdonald

Hello Keep It Fast fans!

After much work and several all-nighters, the design team of KIF towers have successfully completed the updated site! Yes, very soon (perhaps tomorrow) the old design of ‘massive killer robot threatening humanity‘ will be swapped for…..ah…you’ll have to wait and see!

Due to this design change, there may be a few teething problems involving words not being in the right place (i.e. falling off the screen,) pictures moving up and down all over the place. It would be great if I could blame my grammar and spelling mistakes on this as well, but alas no. Basically, if things aren’t working 100%, it’s due to the layout, which will be sorted asap.

Stand by for upcoming posts which include:

- The second part of the nu-metal recap.
- Mad Mac returning to give the indie music scene another beating.
- Album reviews.
- More dodgy cover songs.
- Free cake.*

That’s all for now, hopefully my internet will stay connected long enough to post this. I tell you, wireless internet is about as reliable as Michael Fish.

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Ross Macdonald.

*a lie.

Back in the day (mid-1990s, early 2000) nu-metal was big - Pavarotti big. Nearly every music channel had some sweaty bald man in a black t-shirt jumping up and down, screaming about how he was beaten by his dad with a tyre iron. Behind him would be 3 –4 other guys (all of similar appearance, save for ridiculous facial hair) trying to mash together their varied styles of five-string slap bass, two note power chords and jazz drumming. Atrocious, right? Yeah, but at the time it was one bandwagon that I duly jumped on and enjoyed. Of course, I would deny all knowledge of owning the first Papa Roach album when talking about the new La Quiete 7” with my peers down the local straightedge club….

This somewhat embarrassing new feature will briefly (and god to I mean briefly,) skim over 10 or so nu-metal acts from the past (chosen by Jason and myself) for you to cringe over. Angst-ridden rock has never sounded so good.

You’ll notice we’ve only included a few acts, as some are really too appalling to mention.

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Band: Papa Roach
Time Active: 1993 – Present (they self-released a lot of early material on eps.)
Sound: The ‘Roach have moved away from their rap-core metal tag (as seen on ‘Infest’ ) and now sound more ‘hard rock’ apparently. I.e. a watered down version of Eighteen Visions.
High Points: ‘Infest‘ going Platinum 3 times. Woah. Also, ‘Last Resort’ reaching number 3 in the singles chart in the UK.
Low Points: That ‘lovehatetragedy’ album. *Vomits* Plus, looking like world class douchebags.
Fast Fact: In an early incarnation of the band they had a trombone player.
Where are they now?: Still going strong…if that’s the word. New album released in August, called ‘Metamorphosis.’ Drummer Tony Palamero has left the band due to personal reasons.

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Band: One Minute Silence
Time Active: 1995-2003
Sound: Formulaic but anarchistic rap-metal that progressed into a harsher, more desolate sounding territories before their split. ‘Fish Out Of Water’ was a particular favourite, despite the nonsensical lyrics and comedic singing.
High Points: Extensive touring schedules, including: support for metal-gods Anthrax on one of their US tours and a European one, as well as dates with Machine Head, Slipknot and Sepultura.
Low Points: Hard to say – they were a hard working band, but their music offered little experimentation. Perhaps the hectic touring was too much? Also, would they still be relevant nowadays, what with the progression of British metal (i.e. Johnny Truant, Down I Go, Maths, Throats, Rolo Tomassi, etc.)
Fast Fact: The band’s name comes from showing a mark of respect when someone close to you/important/respected dies.
Where are they now?: Vocalist Brian ‘Yap’ Barry formed Pink Punk (spoken word/hip-hop project, quite good) in 2006 and released an album called ‘Zoo Politics’ on Freeport Records. Although OMS haven’t ruled out the idea of reforming, it seems unlikely.

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Band: Spineshank
Time Active: 1996 - 2007 (reformed September 2008)
Sound: Their distinct nu-metal sound was complimented by erratic industrial beats, especially on ‘The Height of Callousness.’ Vocalist Jonny Santos maintained a husky drawl to his voice throughout their recordings that was certainly an acquired taste. He constantly sounded like he needed Imodium tablets/or a packet of tunes.
High Points: Making it big with their second album, ‘The Height of Callousness’ and their breakthrough singles ‘Synthetic’ and ‘New Disease.’ Plus, joining Ozzfest in 2001, tours with Disturbed and Hed (PE) and being nominated for a Grammy for ‘best metal performance’ in 2004 for their track ‘Smothered.’
Low Points: Losing Santos really. At the height of their career his departure led to the end of Spineshank. Mind you, I’d have kicked him out for that ridiculous haircut.
Fast Fact: TV host Daisy Donovan actually went on tour with Spineshank in 2002 as part of her ‘Daisy Daisy‘ show, (a crap version of Louis Theroux.)
Where are they now?: Santos plays guitar and sings in rubbish metalcore act Silent Civilian. The 3 remaining members of Spineshank continued for a bit with a new vocalist, but amicably split after 3 years of not much happening. A sad end really. (UPDATE = according to wiki and myspace, Santos has re-joined Spineshank and they’ve begun recording a new album! Hit up their myspace to hear an exclusive track!)

Video:Fancy laughing at 4 angry men shouting about being artificial/checking out a hott girl? Click below to watch the video of ‘Synthetic.‘

Get the Flash Player to see the wordTube Media Player.

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Band: Disturbed
Time Active: 1996-present
Sound: If you were to look nu-metal up in the dictionary, a picture of Disturbed would probably be under the entry. Their style is typical of the genre, albeit with vocalist David Draiman’s trademark ‘monkey yelps’ and unusual singing style on their earlier material. Nowadays, they seem to go under the ‘alternative metal’ tag.
High Points: The release of their first album ‘The Sickness’ sold 4 million copies and projected them into the metal circuit, making them a staple band of the genre. They’ve also had 3 consecutive number 1 albums, which I find incredibly hard to believe. I guess people like derivative American meathead metal!
Low Points: losing bassist Fuzz due to personal differences in 2003, but apart from this the band seems to be going from strength to strength.
Fast Fact: Their most well known song ‘Down With The Sickness’ was covered by Richard Cheese and used in the film ‘Dawn of the Dead’ (2004 version.)
Where Are They Now?: Disturbed have just released their 4th album, ‘Indestructible’ (best album cover ever alert) and are currently planning a tour of Australia in August and September with God-botherers P.O.D. and lamest band ever, Alter Bridge. Exciting times.

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Band: Limp Bizkit
Time Active: 1994 –2005 (supposed hiatus)
Sound: Idiotic frat boy rap-rock, featuring over-the-top profanity, abysmal lyrics and some neat scratching courtesy of DJ Lethal.
High Points: Selling 54 million albums worldwide is nothing to be sniffed at and ‘Significant Other‘ their sophmore effort, went number 1 in the Billboard 200. Also, that free gig they did in 2003 at Finsbury Park was a nice gesture.
Low Points: Too many to mention. How about: losing Wes Borland twice, that shitty remix album, Results May Vary, The Unquestionable Truth, the Britney Spears thing, Durst being heckled at the 2003 Summer Sanitarium Tour and walking off stage after 6 songs, being generally a walking joke, etc.
Fast Fact: For Christmas several years ago, I was given a censored version of ‘Chocolate Starfish….‘ by my Auntie. Needless to say, it was actually funnier/better than the original uncensored version - hearing ‘Hot Dog’ with all the ‘fucks’ blanked out was particularly amusing. The album has since vanished.
Where Are They Now?: Hiatus. Apparently Durst and co. are supposedly working on the follow up to ‘The Unquestionable Truth’ but if I was them, I wouldn’t bother (although the ‘Home Sweet Home/Bittersweet Symphony’ cover they did was actually ok.) Borland is currently working on his Black Light Burns project, having severed all ties with Limp Bizkit, calling the ‘Greastest Hitz’ album they released back in 2006 ‘a pile of shit.’ Personally, I’m hoping for a second Big Dumb Face album.

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Links

Papa Roach
One Minute Silence
Spineshank
Disturbed
Limp Bizkit

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By Ross Macdonald